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Helping a friend

Laurel

Hi there, can anyone help please or point me in the right direction..  I have a friend who in my opinion is autistic and has learning difficulties but has never been diagnosed and wouldn’t appreciate me saying anything along those lines. But she is struggling in quite a few areas of life and I don’t know what to do … I have tried to signpost her to certain agencies but it hasn’t worked … it’s such a shame because I believe she should be getting more help financially and support etc but is there anything y more I can do ? 

Parents

  • When you put so much effort into coping, fitting in and looking as normal as you can, to be told you have an issue feels like failure. It is why I outright rejected the idea for decades.

    It is a real hit to your self image. Afterwards, as in a year or more when you have accepted it, it can be helpful to know. You can live with less self pressure, with more understanding and self compassion. But you are not the same.

    In reality, many of the thoughts may be distorted, one sided, based on wrong assumptions, etc. 

    But there is no easy way to be told in my opinion. Ultimately you have to want to be told, which I guess is when you can't manage anymore, through burnout or other reasons.

    It is hard to pitch it as a positive thing to someone who doesn't know. Even if it may turn out that way in the medium/long term.

Reply

  • When you put so much effort into coping, fitting in and looking as normal as you can, to be told you have an issue feels like failure. It is why I outright rejected the idea for decades.

    It is a real hit to your self image. Afterwards, as in a year or more when you have accepted it, it can be helpful to know. You can live with less self pressure, with more understanding and self compassion. But you are not the same.

    In reality, many of the thoughts may be distorted, one sided, based on wrong assumptions, etc. 

    But there is no easy way to be told in my opinion. Ultimately you have to want to be told, which I guess is when you can't manage anymore, through burnout or other reasons.

    It is hard to pitch it as a positive thing to someone who doesn't know. Even if it may turn out that way in the medium/long term.

Children
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