Hi
How do people learn to be assertive? I have always taken quite a quiet passive role in work and some friendships. I can be assertive when advocating for my children, discussing things within family and very close friends. I left work today feeling like I wish I had said what I felt to my team lead in response to telling her I need support to run my caseload as flat out and don't have enough time to fill in personal development plan and was going to further elaborate and she replied "I don't care about your PDP" and really offered no help for my caseload. My other colleague raised her eyes and offered to do some joint working with me.
I was then busy for the rest of the afternoon and when I get a chance to mull over this conversation on my car journey home, I was upset she is like that and didn't listen. I then get really angry and wish I had pulled her up at the time. I came home to discuss with my husband but was in rant mode that was going to send her an email tomorrow to say I must have misunderstood her comment as surely as the lead she should be making sure there is equity and time for development is a requirement to be built into the job.
This lady is constantly blunt, flares up at the drop of a hat and makes me very uncomfortable. I can not read her but I feel she bullies me by disregarding my comments and cutting me down. I have already had counselling 6months ago and I did stand up to her in a non confrontational way and did get an apology but she never changes as the fact she said this infront of another colleague today means she has kind of shot herself in the foot. Meaning I need to address the fact that I did not like the comment and things need to be made equitable. She does very little, starts late and leaves early and we say nothing. There is a bigger team lead and am close to going to her but don't like to cause fuss. I have thought about asking a colleague from another team for clinical supervision to discuss as this would be confidential.
i just get so angry with myself that I can not say what needs to be said there and then. Instead I come home in melt down and I just want to be more assertive. Anybody know any good books, ideas or courses to improve being more assertive.
Any advice greatly received as now really learning who I am and learning how to live with my new knowledge.
