‘Service mode’ is something I’ve been reading into, I find the only way I can truly recharge is being totally alone. If someone else is in the equation, even a loved one, I go into ‘service mode’. Recharge is unable to happen as I am scanning for someone else’s needs, even minor things like food and having to maintain a conversation. The alertness even continues in the background when sleeping.
We end up putting our own needs to one side and become exhausted to the point of burnout.
My wife has been away on holiday for two weeks with her sister, the idea was that I would have a rest, do a few jobs on the house and look after our dog , my younger son (25) was sort of forced on me at the last minute, I do love him and get on okay with him but he is very volatile. I have to think about meals, dishwashers, clothes washing etc. I just find my needs are never taken into consideration, another fact is plans were changed which is always horrible. I will return to work next week and have customers ‘badgering’ me. It’s hard to explain but it’s done with a smile but I know I’m being manipulated. I end up working 7 days a week to try a make the same progress as a neurotypical person. Sorry just venting out loud.
