Help with Autistic Husband

I really need some help. My husband has just been diagnosed with Autism and his symptoms have skyrocketed. He's always found socialising and being in busy environments difficult but since his diagnosis he can't cope with them at all. I've done some research and it sounds like a lot of people experience this. I just don't know how to help him, I'm so overwhelmed. I absolutely understand that it isn't his fault, it's just very hard for me to cope with too. It's awful seeing him struggle with being out the house and seeing people including his family. 

Does anyone have any advice at all? He's starting to know when he's doing too much and he's been more vocal when he doesn't want to go out and that's working much better. I just don't know how else to help him. I've realised that I overwhelm him sometimes by making too many suggestions so I've really tried to dial that down and that seems to be working better too. What else can I do? Any advice would be so appreciated, or just people saying they're going through it too would be such a relief. Thank you x

Parents
  • As a man, I think he could be dealing with deeper underlying childhood trauma after his diagnosis, so he will be wanting to heal and soothe himself more than usual, as a way of supporting himself more now because he couldn't support himself before. I experienced that. Just talk to him, listen, be kind, understanding, honest and give him space to spend time with himself. The more you do this the easier it will get for him and he will recover faster. If you keep pressuring him, suggesting things, trying to go out, it will disregulate him more and make the process harder. 

Reply
  • As a man, I think he could be dealing with deeper underlying childhood trauma after his diagnosis, so he will be wanting to heal and soothe himself more than usual, as a way of supporting himself more now because he couldn't support himself before. I experienced that. Just talk to him, listen, be kind, understanding, honest and give him space to spend time with himself. The more you do this the easier it will get for him and he will recover faster. If you keep pressuring him, suggesting things, trying to go out, it will disregulate him more and make the process harder. 

Children
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