• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 83 subscribers
  • Views 128 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Lack of emotional display - help

AdamH123

One of the signs of my autism seems to be a distinct lack of emotion in my expression and when I talk. Its not something I realised before until it was brought up. Now it seems to be an issue in my relationship. I'm seen to look miserable and when I speak it becomes very monotone and without any enthusiasm.

Does anyone else have this? If so how do you deal with it as it hurts to be seen to be miserable and come across negatively to people I deal with. I feel like a robot that isn't capable of displaying emotion and excitement like someone 'typical'

  • Yes I have this difficulty and try to joke about my resting *** face but actually it really stings when my husband comments about my expression. I end up pushing him away by saying it’s just because I’m ugly. I’m sorry I have nothing useful to say but I want you to know that you are not alone. 

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    Thanks I will definitely bear that in mind. I can talk.about subjects I enjoy too but for everything else it is very flat so hopefully I can find a way to manage it. I didn't use to be so much like this and I need to work out how to recapture some of that expression again.

    I just feel like I am masking and trying to not be myself which is exhausting.

    Ita good to know I'm not alone though

  • I can be a bit flat too, though if I am trying I can be better at it, it just tires me out more after. (If talking about something that sparks my interest or I get passionate about, like various kinds of injustice, then I can get rather animated and not know when to stop.)

    I was trying to think of something helpful to say when I remembered someone who, I don't know if they were on the spectrum, but was known to be a bit flat and grumpy. They used to make jokes about it, in a very flat way, and would also then be a bit random and silly, like having some tinsel on at Christmas, and there is something funny about that juxtaposition. I was just considering, whether it's a way to project not being miserable without having to change your face? Sorry that was a bit random, just trying to think of ways to adapt rather than needing to change yourself, which you shouldn't need to do 

    Maybe also if it's problems like not showing enough enthusiasm for an idea a partner has said, have a little hand signal like an obvious thumbs up might work? I think other people need these cues, and I will sometimes do a thumbs up to make sure I'm understood (and double for extra). Kind of like a bridge between neurotypes?

    You aren't alone anyway!