• Replies 5 replies
  • Subscribers 85 subscribers
  • Views 196 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

To Tell or Not To Tell

Gabriella

I am a late-self-identified auDHDer who has come to terms with herself and her traits.

Taking several online assessments recently has helped clarify my past behavior and given me a sense of relief and hope for the future.

However, I am hesitant to start discussing my “journey of discovery” with friends and family. 

just wondering if other folks here have gone through similar dilemmas. 

  • Hi Gabriella and welcome to our community. Hope you get a lot out of being here.

    Disclosure is a deeply personal thing and I have been through that dilemma. People's reactions are varied and sometimes surprising (good and bad).

    You can't un-tell someone, so judging with whom, how and when to share (if you choose to share) is worthy of reflection. 

    I found out about my AuDHD at age 59, and have chosen to be open with people that I know and trust, to help break down stigma. My parents had died before I was diagnosed so I was spared the most difficult conversation. 

    What I found useful was to take time to get my head around my revised sense of identity early on, so I had some momentum, before telling anyone who wasn't already aware of my diagnostic journey.

  • I didn't tell my Mum until after my dad had died, because he would of gone on some kind of massive guilt trip and would of thought he had to make me better. My Mums fine with it, and I don't shy away from sharing my diagnosis with anyone, I'm completely out and open about it and I don't see anything to be ashamed about, if others can't handle it then its their problem and if they try and make it miine then I deal with it and them.

  • In my experience, it can help as you can then explain why you often do things that seem "different", and it also increases general awareness of autism. But only do it with those you feel comfortable with, and if they don't seem interested I've found its better not to talk much about it after the disclosure.

    I'm also late self discovered and female. I found this community to be a source of support and I hope you do too.

  • Hi Gabriella, 

    its great that you have have found some understanding in yourself as well as hope for the future. Starting to discuss things can seem quite daunting but I think they would love to hear if your journey and it may actually help them understand certain aspects of your life that they may not fully understand.

    Most importantly though I think you have to do whatever you think is right for you. Don’t put added pressure on yourself and let it happen naturally when you are ready.