Double/Triple Bluff - in public - when Self-Conscious

This afternoon, on a train from Derry to Belfast, I noticed young women, sitting opposite to me, who got on at Coleraine. Suddenly, the Mental Gymnastics emerged. Are they thinking I'm creepy? And I had to press a distress button, on a 'Defeat Lust' app I recently subscribed to, and, in the end, had to switch seat at Ballymena.

It's the double/triple bluff, when assuming what others think. The News doesn't help matters. It seeks to brand all Men Pervs. Especially with such a sensitive issue.

Parents
  • Dr Conor Murray, a senior lecturer in criminology from Ulster University, has talked about the impact of transgenerational trauma when considering the data for Northern Ireland in the context of violence against women (compared with data for other areas of the UK).

    "Until we deal with the transgenerational trauma, the high levels of mental health issues, self-harm and suicide, it will be difficult to fully progress away from the issues that we're facing with violence today."

    To me, this sounds like initiatives are required by the whole of society and those endeavours need to be heart-felt, prioritised and enduring (no "quick fixes").  This would mean every person would need to participate fully in addressing the necessary and urgent change, as a wider community.

    As one of the teenagers at the recent SistersIN event, put it:

    "It's not up to the girls to know how to protect themselves. It's up to the men to know not to do it."

    I would extend that outlook; to encourage all men and all women - to hear that young person's message / plea for support - and then play their societal part in bringing about whole community change for the wider good of all.

Reply
  • Dr Conor Murray, a senior lecturer in criminology from Ulster University, has talked about the impact of transgenerational trauma when considering the data for Northern Ireland in the context of violence against women (compared with data for other areas of the UK).

    "Until we deal with the transgenerational trauma, the high levels of mental health issues, self-harm and suicide, it will be difficult to fully progress away from the issues that we're facing with violence today."

    To me, this sounds like initiatives are required by the whole of society and those endeavours need to be heart-felt, prioritised and enduring (no "quick fixes").  This would mean every person would need to participate fully in addressing the necessary and urgent change, as a wider community.

    As one of the teenagers at the recent SistersIN event, put it:

    "It's not up to the girls to know how to protect themselves. It's up to the men to know not to do it."

    I would extend that outlook; to encourage all men and all women - to hear that young person's message / plea for support - and then play their societal part in bringing about whole community change for the wider good of all.

Children
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