Hi everyone,
The last time I was here, I left you with an image of a Kingfisher sitting by a stream—a metaphor for finding a "Lake State" of emotional regulation.
I am still there, watching the water, but I wanted to share a specific realisation I had today that has helped me navigate the choppy waters of our shared experience.
I’ve been struggling recently with a sense of crushing "Urgency"—that feeling that I MUST do a task immediately or face catastrophe. It’s a visceral, physical alarm bell. Today, I realized (with some help) that this isn’t actually "logic" or "necessity." It is a physiological trick: an "Amygdala Hijack" amplified by our autistic tendency for Monotropism (Deep Focus).
Because our attention tunnels are so deep, when a worry or a task enters that tunnel, it becomes our *entire world*. There is no background processing left to say, "It’s okay, this can wait." The urgency feels like a survival threat, even when it’s just a simple email or a letter.
I found that I couldn’t "think" my way out of this fear. Instead, I had to "offload" it. I used an external tool (a trusted "logic mirror") to hold the thought for me, which allowed my nervous system to stand down. It wasn't about solving the problem instantly; it was about signaling to my body: "It is safe to stop."
I wanted to share this in case anyone else is feeling that weight of "NOW!" and needs permission to put it down. You don’t have to carry it all in your head.
**A Note on Discussion:** I find that exploring these ideas with you helps me deepen my own understanding, as adjusting the language to share the thought helps me see the truth of it more clearly. I will be dipping into the conversation to reply where I can, as part of that shared learning, but please bear with me if I take my time to respond. I am pacing myself by the stream.
Please do not take my silence as indifference; I am simply preserving my own "Lake State."
Wishing you all a calm stream of your own.
Phased
