• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 81 subscribers
  • Views 90 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Returning to the Stream: A thought on "Urgency" and Fear

Phased

Hi everyone,

The last time I was here, I left you with an image of a Kingfisher sitting by a stream—a metaphor for finding a "Lake State" of emotional regulation.

I am still there, watching the water, but I wanted to share a specific realisation I had today that has helped me navigate the choppy waters of our shared experience.

I’ve been struggling recently with a sense of crushing "Urgency"—that feeling that I MUST do a task immediately or face catastrophe. It’s a visceral, physical alarm bell. Today, I realized (with some help) that this isn’t actually "logic" or "necessity." It is a physiological trick: an "Amygdala Hijack" amplified by our autistic tendency for Monotropism (Deep Focus).

Because our attention tunnels are so deep, when a worry or a task enters that tunnel, it becomes our *entire world*. There is no background processing left to say, "It’s okay, this can wait." The urgency feels like a survival threat, even when it’s just a simple email or a letter.

I found that I couldn’t "think" my way out of this fear. Instead, I had to "offload" it. I used an external tool (a trusted "logic mirror") to hold the thought for me, which allowed my nervous system to stand down. It wasn't about solving the problem instantly; it was about signaling to my body: "It is safe to stop."

I wanted to share this in case anyone else is feeling that weight of "NOW!" and needs permission to put it down. You don’t have to carry it all in your head.

**A Note on Discussion:** I find that exploring these ideas with you helps me deepen my own understanding, as adjusting the language to share the thought helps me see the truth of it more clearly. I will be dipping into the conversation to reply where I can, as part of that shared learning, but please bear with me if I take my time to respond. I am pacing myself by the stream.

Please do not take my silence as indifference; I am simply preserving my own "Lake State."

Wishing you all a calm stream of your own.

Phased

Parents
  • I’ve been reflecting on what I just posted above, and I realized I might have been too simple when I said we can’t "think" our way out of the panic.
    In my professional background (and my personal practice of Dao Yin), there is a crucial distinction I missed out. The problem isn't thinking itself; it's the type of thinking.
    1. Analytical Thinking (The Passenger): This is when we ask "Why is this happening?" or "What if it goes wrong?" This feeds the anxiety loop.
    2. Directive Thinking (The Pilot): This is when we use our focus to issue commands to the body. In Dao Yin, we call this "Yi" (Intent).
    I realised that I can use my mind to regulate my emotions, but only if I switch from "Debating the Fear" to "Piloting the Nervous System." I use my internal voice to direct the body: "Drop the shoulders. Lengthen the spine. Slow the breath."
    Why I am adding this comment:
    In medical training, there is a saying: "Watch One, Do One, Teach One." By coming back here to explain this distinction to you ("Teaching One"), I am actually reinforcing the habit in my own brain. Writing this down helps me remember where the "Switch" is for next time.
    Disclaimer: Although I am a Physiotherapist, I am sharing this as a fellow human and autistic person, not as medical advice. Please take what resonates and leave the rest.
Reply
  • I’ve been reflecting on what I just posted above, and I realized I might have been too simple when I said we can’t "think" our way out of the panic.
    In my professional background (and my personal practice of Dao Yin), there is a crucial distinction I missed out. The problem isn't thinking itself; it's the type of thinking.
    1. Analytical Thinking (The Passenger): This is when we ask "Why is this happening?" or "What if it goes wrong?" This feeds the anxiety loop.
    2. Directive Thinking (The Pilot): This is when we use our focus to issue commands to the body. In Dao Yin, we call this "Yi" (Intent).
    I realised that I can use my mind to regulate my emotions, but only if I switch from "Debating the Fear" to "Piloting the Nervous System." I use my internal voice to direct the body: "Drop the shoulders. Lengthen the spine. Slow the breath."
    Why I am adding this comment:
    In medical training, there is a saying: "Watch One, Do One, Teach One." By coming back here to explain this distinction to you ("Teaching One"), I am actually reinforcing the habit in my own brain. Writing this down helps me remember where the "Switch" is for next time.
    Disclaimer: Although I am a Physiotherapist, I am sharing this as a fellow human and autistic person, not as medical advice. Please take what resonates and leave the rest.
Children
No Data