(Peri)menopause and autism

I am female, 47 years. It is only a year ago a therapist suggested I was autistic. I have always had symptoms/traits and was different than other people, but autism was never mentioned. After age 40, things got incredibly much worse, my sensory sensitivities, my ability to tolerate stress/change, my social abilities. I have read several papers claiming that estrogen has a protective effect on the brain, reducing autistic traits. This is the reason autistic traits worsen when one approaches menopause, as estrogen levels decline. I have not had an easy life, and to be honest, I am feeling desperate realizing that the future will be even worse. I can barely take a bus ride due to the insane amount of smell and noise (despite headphones and other ways of protecting myself). I cannot eat in a restaurant or go to the cinema. I cannot work anymore, the interaction with others at the work place became unbearable. I have problems eating, because I am insanely focused on the details of the food, and I refuse to eat anything that looks/feels/tastes/smells slightly different than expectations. I am only approaching menopause, not even in it. I am terrified how much worse I will get. I wonder if others have any experiences to share. 

Parents
  • I think it is often the case that the menopause can bring autistic traits more to the forefront, and also exacerbate things like anxiety etc. I definitely experienced this. Try to make a point of not focussing on what will happen in the future as you cannot possibly know what will happen - it’s perfectly possible that your symptoms could also improve - it’s impossible to know so there’s no point in worrying about that. How you feel is likely to fluctuate rather than just go in one direction (either better or worse). It’s probably much more helpful to focus on what you can do right now to find helpful strategies to make life easier for you day to day, Finding ways to sooth your nervous system, and finding positive things to focus on that you enjoy. Getting rest, finding things you can still get pleasure from, doing what you can to take some of the pressure and stresses out of your life where possible. Basically focussing on your overall well being, and really taking care of yourself as you make this very natural transition into this new phase of your life. I have found that it’s challenging at times, but there are also silver linings, and I think you can ‘come out the other side’ of a lot of menopausal symptoms and be in pretty good shape overall. 

Reply
  • I think it is often the case that the menopause can bring autistic traits more to the forefront, and also exacerbate things like anxiety etc. I definitely experienced this. Try to make a point of not focussing on what will happen in the future as you cannot possibly know what will happen - it’s perfectly possible that your symptoms could also improve - it’s impossible to know so there’s no point in worrying about that. How you feel is likely to fluctuate rather than just go in one direction (either better or worse). It’s probably much more helpful to focus on what you can do right now to find helpful strategies to make life easier for you day to day, Finding ways to sooth your nervous system, and finding positive things to focus on that you enjoy. Getting rest, finding things you can still get pleasure from, doing what you can to take some of the pressure and stresses out of your life where possible. Basically focussing on your overall well being, and really taking care of yourself as you make this very natural transition into this new phase of your life. I have found that it’s challenging at times, but there are also silver linings, and I think you can ‘come out the other side’ of a lot of menopausal symptoms and be in pretty good shape overall. 

Children
  • Thank you for your answer. I would be interested to learn more about your experience as you approached menopause. I know that I am good at catastrophising. But even when I try to not look at the future, just looking at today, I am so overwhelmed, I don't know how to cope. I have a few things that calm my nervous system (for example books and trees :). But I find the demands of every day life so stressful that I mostly walk through days like a zombie, slowly moving from task to task, with melt-downs in between when things did not go as planned. If I could just sit down in a forest with a book (and with food I can tolerate, and clothes that do not bother me etc), I do assume my mental state would be better.