the autism that isn’t obvious and is hidden perfectly

Hey, 

I am just wondering if many people can relate to me. 

I got diagnosed with autism when i was 16 (I’m now 18) and to be quite honest for the last 2 years I have been in denial about it. I am also angry sometimes that it went unnoticed for so long. 

None of my friends know, neither do my siblings, it’s just my parents who do . I think that people would be surprised if they did find out, mine isn’t exactly obvious. 

Apart from having a terrible social battery, I am okay in social situations. All throughout school and now in college, I have had friends and only lately I have started to try masking less, which is no easy task as it feels so natural at this stage. 

However,  sensory wise i really struggle,I , get super awful motion sickness, don’t like to fly on planes, need routine, struggle with a chronic anxiety and often have panic attacks  but I can go to nightclubs, meet friends, play football matches infront of  50+ people. 

I get tired trying to explain myself everyday to people, that I just can’t do certain stuff but they never understand because its like if they can’t see it , its not there. Asking why i wont go on holidays, why can’t i do presentation infront of the class?. Nothing I ever answer, seems to ever be the right one 

Parents
  • A lot of us relate to you - some of us haven't discovered  we're on the spectrum until much later - I was in my fifties, and nobody had suspected, I realised it myself after finding out about autism.

    It can be very disconcerting at first, you have to work out what is really you and what is masking and learned behaviour. But this community helps.

Reply
  • A lot of us relate to you - some of us haven't discovered  we're on the spectrum until much later - I was in my fifties, and nobody had suspected, I realised it myself after finding out about autism.

    It can be very disconcerting at first, you have to work out what is really you and what is masking and learned behaviour. But this community helps.

Children
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