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Masking

Larissa

Okay, I don't know if any other autistic person can relate to this but I feel when I'm in public it's so hard to be present because I feel I'm constantly monitoring my own behaviours and trying not to act weird 

This is a very subconscious thing that I've recently realised that I've been doing but it just it makes it hard to just enjoy myself and enjoy the nature and be present without constantly scanning for who's paying attention to me and what people think of me

Parents

  • I relate to this a lot. It happens less with my friends (who are also neurodivergent) but I often have conversations with people I know less well and realise afterwards that I haven't taken in anything they've said because I'm so busy focusing on eye contact, what to say, when to nod etc. I've spent my whole life trying to not be 'too weird' but it turns out that masked me is still 'too weird' for most! :D

  • in reply to SilmarilCritter

    Yes it's a lot easier with the few friends I have, all of which are autistic. It's funny, I didn't chose to be friends with just autistic people its just easier to get along with them as an autistic person. When I was in school, I found that I'd nod and agree just because the interaction was so overwhelming rather than trying to understand the instructions so I get that. And yes, as much as we try to hide it, it doesn't work - so we may as well be ourselves!

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  • in reply to SilmarilCritter

    Yes it's a lot easier with the few friends I have, all of which are autistic. It's funny, I didn't chose to be friends with just autistic people its just easier to get along with them as an autistic person. When I was in school, I found that I'd nod and agree just because the interaction was so overwhelming rather than trying to understand the instructions so I get that. And yes, as much as we try to hide it, it doesn't work - so we may as well be ourselves!

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