I typically consider carefully what I am going to say. But I feel conversations have a tendency to spiral in the wrong direction. I try a lot, and then I get dismissed, even when I argue very carefully, and there is no question the other person is wrong about something.
I feel people always meet me with a 'No' in their head. Also before I open my mouth. As if I have a mark on my forehead. It happens in phone calls as well. I tried to observe my husband, who much more often gets a Yes. Or a kind reply, for example from a customer service. "Of course we will fix this". Not always, but significantly more often. I have assumed it is because he is male. More assertive. I am foreigner on top, my accent reveals it. It wasn't before a therapist suggested that I could be autistic (based on other symptoms) that things started to make more sense.
I tried recording phone calls that I participate in. In my country that is allowed. And I noticed that my voice, the pitch, it is not nice. Especially when I feel misunderstood or not heard. It gets a desperate or angry sound. Because at that moment, I probably am. I prefer written communications, like chats. Also because I can save them and 'prove' what was said later on (when customer service again did not do what they promised). But also there I often don't manage. Sometimes I may be too detail-oriented. I don't buy the shallow answer, I keep asking when something does not make sense. I see my husband does not do that. But that approach doesn't seem right either.
