(C)PTST

This makes total sense to me. As you say, is it better to not try and unravel it all, know its there. 

I think you need to have a problem you want to solve.

If you are having sleeping problems, flashbacks, strange emotions, anger, avoidance, unexpected responses, living like a recluse, drinking, depression, frustration, trouble ramping your nervous system down, etc.

You can experience a number of potentially traumatic events, I saw someone run over and maybe killed when 6, I nearly died when 10, without it being too much of a problem. But others can be. It is variable and depends on a number of factors 

My main issues, I believe, were emotional from other events and from being dysregulated due to chronic long term borderline burnout while being undiagnosed. Childhood emotional neglect seems to explain a lot of the background. ASD just made me more susceptible to all this.

Replaying difficult events can be hard, particularly with a visual memory and full recall, you can relive the experience immersively and re-traumatise yourself. I did. But it  has led to processing it rather than burying it and although very difficult, as in potentially life threatening, I am through it now.

Doing it with someone is slow. Analysing yourself, which I did, is fast, but is not recommended for good reason, as you can become quite unstable. I was undiagnosed and desperate to understand what was happening to me, but masked too well for the doctor and counsellor to help. The clinical psychologists, particularly the consultant, saw through it all though. 

Multiple things can be wrapped up together. It is hard to know what to attack first, but doing all at once is tough although more efficient.

If you have things which you think are negatively influencing your current behaviour then it is worth investigating. But be aware there is no magic wand to make things go away or make you forget. The best you can do is understand, process and reduce their impact, which takes time. It may be easier to leave some things buried, it depends.

Thank you for your reply, I do appreciate it. I am open To the idea that I could have PTSD/cPTSD and how Autism can affect/influence this.  Generally ongoing emotional/trust etc although I do also have  exposure to many traumatic events.  I think I may learn a thing or two if I explore but wouldnt know where to start.

Hiya

CONTENT WARNING FOR THIS REPLY - DESCRIPTION OF SUICIDAL IDEATION 

No it isn’t an excuse, trauma is very very real and caused in a gazillion ways.

I was diagnosed with C-PTSD a few years ago, the trouble is it is impossible to secure the therapy I need, ie from a trauma informed psychologist who is also skilled at working with autistic people. After my fourth suicide attempt the local mental health team assessed me SIX times over twelve months, each time rejecting me as either too high risk and/or too complex. I tried private therapy which has been no solution either. The cost is just about affordable but the therapists Ive spoken to and the one I tried working with have concrete silo boundaries, they are completely uncommunicative between sessions and offer no crisis support. The effect was really bad on me. 

Recently having a meltdown at the same time that I was experiencing a trauma flashback, and driving on the M6 I very nearly closed my eyes thinking I can’t stand this pain anymore. Fortunately something snapped me out of it. ! I told my gp so have lost my license, which is for the best as I expect Id have killed not just myself but ruined numerous lives on the motorway sooner or later.

I don’t think this really answers your question but is my experience of the combination of autism and trauma. 

AnA

I believe I am hypervigilent, scanning looking trying to listen and avoid conflict and readily shut down. I think the missing social cues, body language etc and difficulty with conversations which would be from the autism I guess maybe leads to problems/misunderstandimgs that I then cant cope with or cant do what others would do and shut down which I guess is frustrating for people.

Thanks. I wonder if it may have helped mould the person I am, which is apparently wrong. I just dont know.

Thank you for replying . It makes sense from what I've seen. Besides that theres stuff going on that leads me to doubt whats what.

Unsure said:

Is looking into the possibility of PTSD that has accumalated over events over the years looking for an excuse?

Very unlikely.

Unsure said:

Are there benefits to looking into it?

Yes. I think it's helpful to explore these things and us autistic folk have already been through at least one round of such exploration to find answers. I have been told I am very likely to have C-PTSD from childhood bullying and traditional/harsh discipline at home, which explains my hypervigilance.

I have it and whilst it may not make everything better, being able to name whats happening to you does help. It also helps when trying to unravel things in your mind whether on your own or with a therapist. It's also helpful to be able to tell others in some situations, especially professionals such as in my case dentists, having to lie still whilst someone pokes about inside me often painfully can really set me off, as can having people looming over me when I come out of anesthesia. It just provides a shorthand they can understand and gives you an opportunity to say what you do and don't like and how you wish to be treated.

Dear Unsure,

It can be really helpful to seeking a diagnosis of PTSD, and I am really sorry that you have been struggling with past experiences. I don't believe looking for diagnosis is looking for an excuse. It is seeking help and support, which is a very brave and responsible decision.

Hopefully some of our online community can share some of their experiences but I have also shared some links below that might be worth taking a look at:
Post-traumatic stress disorder - this is some of NAS advice and guidance on PTSD. There are some helpful links to autistic people's lived experiences of PTSD

PTSD UK -this is the UK's leading charity on PTSD and thought they may have some useful information for you to take a look at. 

Seeking help with mental health - NAS guidance on how to go about seeking support for mental health problems.

Please reach out if you need any further support.

Wishing you well,

Olivia Mod