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Aren't we the normal ones for noticing everything??

SJ7

Ever since my diagnosis last month I've been researching the topic heavily and many "Asperger's" documentaries that I watch says "he has heightened level of sight/hearing", "he notices all the sounds, the wind, the flag moving, the stares, the heat of the sun, etc..."

I mean... doesn't everyone?? I feel it so weird that we notice all of these things as if others don't have a normal hearing/senses...

If that's the case, aren't we the normal ones? lol...

I told my doctor I don't have a problem with eye contact, he said it isn't about having a problem doing it, he said it's the constant thinking about it while doing it! And that struck a thought... Normal people do it without thinking?? I find it hard to grasp...

Can someone explain to me what it means to not notice everything?? or does the brain just filter them out for normal people? isn't that dangerous?

Parents

  • I think it's more the social aspect. 

    Neurodivergent people struggle with it (not always but there may be underlying hypervigilance going on) so we sit back, we learn we watch we match others way of doing things. We do this to survive and we do it to be 'normal' which means we are stuck in survival mode to fit in so we notice everything. We notice red flags, we notice the shift in the air literally and figuratively. 

    For NTs. They clocked social cues right away. They clocked how to perform and they navigate their social and immediate surroundings. What matters to them is status and hierarchy. If they're doing fine they don't notice anything else it's safe and nothing more needs to be focused on.

    For a neurodivergent, it isn't status we want - its understanding and safety. If we don't have those things we will continue to notice alot and the world looks very unsafe all the time.

    One way I've looked at it as I'm shouting in a room that the room is on fire and everyone in the room looks fine and carry on. It's distressing to us sometimes and that can make us, the outlier, unreasonable. 

    I could be wrong. But as I'm learning it all myself I've come to realise that most people have had the luxury to relax and follow social norms, something I can't do because I've clearly not been doing that well at all. Same patterns means I fall into the same issues. NTs don't like addressing the elephant in the room I think. Because it would force them to admit it benefits those who don't quite care for other people. 

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  • I think it's more the social aspect. 

    Neurodivergent people struggle with it (not always but there may be underlying hypervigilance going on) so we sit back, we learn we watch we match others way of doing things. We do this to survive and we do it to be 'normal' which means we are stuck in survival mode to fit in so we notice everything. We notice red flags, we notice the shift in the air literally and figuratively. 

    For NTs. They clocked social cues right away. They clocked how to perform and they navigate their social and immediate surroundings. What matters to them is status and hierarchy. If they're doing fine they don't notice anything else it's safe and nothing more needs to be focused on.

    For a neurodivergent, it isn't status we want - its understanding and safety. If we don't have those things we will continue to notice alot and the world looks very unsafe all the time.

    One way I've looked at it as I'm shouting in a room that the room is on fire and everyone in the room looks fine and carry on. It's distressing to us sometimes and that can make us, the outlier, unreasonable. 

    I could be wrong. But as I'm learning it all myself I've come to realise that most people have had the luxury to relax and follow social norms, something I can't do because I've clearly not been doing that well at all. Same patterns means I fall into the same issues. NTs don't like addressing the elephant in the room I think. Because it would force them to admit it benefits those who don't quite care for other people. 

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