Is the concept of masking accurate or useful?

I am increasingly convinced that the concept of masking is fundamentally flawed and is actually detrimental.

Masking posits the idea that the autistic person who tries to function in allistic society is assuming a different and false personality - a mask - in order to do so. 

My thinking is that this is not at all helpful. Humans are highly social animals and all humans need to be able to communicate accurately and effectively in order to function in a hugely complex society. Autistic humans need to do this just as much as any others, but they have an impairment. While allistics absorb and master all the subtleties of interpersonal communication by subconscious processes during childhood development, autistics do not to the same extent. Allistics then express this ability throughout life with no conscious effort. In contrast, to a greater or lesser extent, autistic people both master in childhood and then use throughout their lives, interpersonal communication skills that are based on conscious observation and emulation and are largely dependent on the use of the intellect.

The autistic person using these communication skills - which may be less effective than those subconscious skills used by allistics - is not adopting a different personality, they are just employing hard-won abilities. It is the immense intellectual investment that makes using these communication skills exhausting and can lead to anxiety and autistic burnout. The autistic person using allistic-style communication skills is the same person, with the same personality, as when they are not. They are not wearing a mask.

When autistics communicate with other autistics, or with allistics who are used to autistic styles of communication, it is much more straightforward and easy, not because they are being 'more authentic', or 'maskless', they are just not having to work as hard.

Parents
  • I see what you are saying but I still think of it as masking. Yes, everyone behaves differently with different people but as you say, for allistics that is a natural thing. I must have learnt very young, and quite painfully, that I needed to behave differently because I became extremely guarded and closed off as I grew up.

    With social interactions, I regularly ask questions, the answers to which I have absolutely no interest in and then suffer through the boredom of listening to the answer (I am AuDHD and boredom is pain). I can't ask what I want to ask, if anything, because I fear being seen as nosey, or creepy, or intrusive. I have a strong sense that the way society works is not designed for people like me and I have to play a game I am bored of just to get along in the world. The urge to just abandon all pretence gets stronger and stronger as time goes on. I am not exactly consciously putting on my mask as I walk out the door but I feel forced to be someone I am not a lot of the time. Masking seems like quite a good term to describe that.

Reply
  • I see what you are saying but I still think of it as masking. Yes, everyone behaves differently with different people but as you say, for allistics that is a natural thing. I must have learnt very young, and quite painfully, that I needed to behave differently because I became extremely guarded and closed off as I grew up.

    With social interactions, I regularly ask questions, the answers to which I have absolutely no interest in and then suffer through the boredom of listening to the answer (I am AuDHD and boredom is pain). I can't ask what I want to ask, if anything, because I fear being seen as nosey, or creepy, or intrusive. I have a strong sense that the way society works is not designed for people like me and I have to play a game I am bored of just to get along in the world. The urge to just abandon all pretence gets stronger and stronger as time goes on. I am not exactly consciously putting on my mask as I walk out the door but I feel forced to be someone I am not a lot of the time. Masking seems like quite a good term to describe that.

Children
  • I feel your boredom McFrost and wondering about being intrusive and nosy, having been on the end of people who fire questions at me with th speed of machine gun fire, it's nto something I want to inflict on someone else, I just wish I could get the balance right between asking enough quetions to seem interested and not so many as to feel nosy.

    I wonder what people would think if we really did all unmask and said what we really think and feel? I bet they'd be asking us to put our masks back on!

  • Very many people use the terms masking and camouflaging, there are books on the subject. They are fairly reasonable as shorthand terms for what autistic people do in order to fit into society more seamlessly. However, there is a view that the person 'masking', i.e. using consciously learned social skills, is somehow inauthentic and betraying their core identity by doing so. This comes largely from parts of the autistic community, as does the idea that 'unmasking' is a panacea for all that ails autistic people. I consider this just one more instance of autistic people being told how to behave. Personally, I resent this. It is for this reason that I think that the term masking has become problematic as well as, debatably, inaccurate.