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Is the concept of masking accurate or useful?

Martin

I am increasingly convinced that the concept of masking is fundamentally flawed and is actually detrimental.

Masking posits the idea that the autistic person who tries to function in allistic society is assuming a different and false personality - a mask - in order to do so. 

My thinking is that this is not at all helpful. Humans are highly social animals and all humans need to be able to communicate accurately and effectively in order to function in a hugely complex society. Autistic humans need to do this just as much as any others, but they have an impairment. While allistics absorb and master all the subtleties of interpersonal communication by subconscious processes during childhood development, autistics do not to the same extent. Allistics then express this ability throughout life with no conscious effort. In contrast, to a greater or lesser extent, autistic people both master in childhood and then use throughout their lives, interpersonal communication skills that are based on conscious observation and emulation and are largely dependent on the use of the intellect.

The autistic person using these communication skills - which may be less effective than those subconscious skills used by allistics - is not adopting a different personality, they are just employing hard-won abilities. It is the immense intellectual investment that makes using these communication skills exhausting and can lead to anxiety and autistic burnout. The autistic person using allistic-style communication skills is the same person, with the same personality, as when they are not. They are not wearing a mask.

When autistics communicate with other autistics, or with allistics who are used to autistic styles of communication, it is much more straightforward and easy, not because they are being 'more authentic', or 'maskless', they are just not having to work as hard.

Parents

  • I am late diagnosed person (53) and I really wasn't aware that I was doing it until I was speaking to a psychologist.

    I tend to mirror rather than adopting a fix alter .  I suppose how do you know what you are doing, isn't the same as everyone else?

    I'm currently trying to figure out my "core" self, the bit that everything else is built upon.

    I think I'm pretty good at reading people, it's probably part of a defence mechanism that I've developed over the years.

  • in reply to Hergé

    Mirroring the behaviour of the person/people your with is seen as showing empathy in many walks of life.

    So is it somehow wrong when we do?

    What does it say about our ability to show empathy?

    It's the same as being comfortable in your own company and liking alone time, in some circles it's called self actualising, others call it self isolating, one is seen as a very positive thing the other negative.

    It's no wonder we get confused, the peole who come up with this stuff seem pretty confused too.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I often think that many people who have a stereotypical view of autistic think that empathy is somewhat alien to us. I'm a very empathetic person and it almost pains me physically to see someone or an animal etc in distress. I'm one of those people that can read a room very quickly and it can be quite uncomfortable if the "vibe" is off.

    I think now that I'm aware of this semi-automatic mirroring response, I try to not give way to it if I can.

    Do I want to understand myself better, yes obviously.

    Do I want to remember all the stuff I've gone through to get to this point, not so much!

  • in reply to Hergé

    I get that room reading thing too and reading emotions in others, sometimes it's OK, but others not so much, some people have storm force auras and use them like a battering ram.

    Mirroring the behavious of another is a good way to signal to them that you're in tune with what they're feeling, even to the point of picking up on the feelings themselves in your own body, good if you're trying to help someone, not so good if you're sat next to them on a train. You can deliberately choose a different body posture if you feel uncomfortable, to "close" yourself down, usually an arms across the body and legs crossed. 

    You could also see if someone is mirroring you, this would mean they want to deepen a friendship or conversation with you.

     If the police do it then they're doing it on purpose to make you more comfortable and give more information, a good thing if yo're the victim of or witness to a crime, not so good if you're the one being accused.

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  • in reply to Hergé

    I get that room reading thing too and reading emotions in others, sometimes it's OK, but others not so much, some people have storm force auras and use them like a battering ram.

    Mirroring the behavious of another is a good way to signal to them that you're in tune with what they're feeling, even to the point of picking up on the feelings themselves in your own body, good if you're trying to help someone, not so good if you're sat next to them on a train. You can deliberately choose a different body posture if you feel uncomfortable, to "close" yourself down, usually an arms across the body and legs crossed. 

    You could also see if someone is mirroring you, this would mean they want to deepen a friendship or conversation with you.

     If the police do it then they're doing it on purpose to make you more comfortable and give more information, a good thing if yo're the victim of or witness to a crime, not so good if you're the one being accused.

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