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Choosing not to unmask completely?

counterpoint

Sometimes, I feel that the cost of unmasking and risking feeling misunderstood regarding my own autism may be greater than keeping the diagnosis for myself, not talking about it, and resuming my previous life while mitigating the problems with some invisible adjustments.

I can imagine the risks of possibly suppressing my own needs and working against my own brain and body, but being almost 50 years old means that I'm somehow a hybrid of a newly discovered autistic self and life-spanning coping and surviving mechanisms, and that the latter are an integral part of myself.

I've read that some people decide to do that. I'm just wondering if someone here has managed to resume their previous life, choosing to leave the "label" behind so others don't know, in a way where they feel complete and happy despite choosing not to unmask completely?

Parents

  • Unmasking as a panacea for all that ails all autistic people who mask, in my opinion, is just another pressure to  make autistic people behave in a certain way. This time it comes from parts of the autistic community, rather than from allistic society. Like all claimed 'cure-alls' it is inaccurate and exaggerated. Most autistic people, who are capable of masking, mask. It is a useful coping strategy, it works, otherwise why would we do it? The real goal, again in my opinion, is balance. Getting the balance between the benefits of masking in easing interactions in society with any harm that masking might do to an autistic person's mental health is the real goal that the individual should be aiming for. Not simplistic, but the reality for most.

    So feel absolutely no guilt whatsoever, for whatever level of masking works best for you.

Reply

  • Unmasking as a panacea for all that ails all autistic people who mask, in my opinion, is just another pressure to  make autistic people behave in a certain way. This time it comes from parts of the autistic community, rather than from allistic society. Like all claimed 'cure-alls' it is inaccurate and exaggerated. Most autistic people, who are capable of masking, mask. It is a useful coping strategy, it works, otherwise why would we do it? The real goal, again in my opinion, is balance. Getting the balance between the benefits of masking in easing interactions in society with any harm that masking might do to an autistic person's mental health is the real goal that the individual should be aiming for. Not simplistic, but the reality for most.

    So feel absolutely no guilt whatsoever, for whatever level of masking works best for you.

Children
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