Choosing not to unmask completely?

This is a tough one and I can only speak of my experience rather than giving advice because honestly it can be life changing and not in what some people would accept as a good change.

I am still in the process of discovering who I really am with the help of my therapist. I have always thought that my purpose in life was to serve others and make sure they were happy without considering my own needs.

Since trying gently to push a little in my primary relationships to fulfill my needs there has been significant pushback which hurts but it has gradually led me to understand I only exist for what I can bring to those relationships and they don’t want me to change.

Its weird but my autism diagnosis has brought clarity to so many aspects of my life, and I am grateful it has.

Yes it hurts but I feel like a weight has been lifted because I have cut contact with mum and dad to a minimum and I am in the process of aiming to live on my own away from husband in the very near future hopefully.  I no longer have to carry the weight of their emotions which feels quite freeing.

It’s such a delicate area unmasking but we all deserve to live a life where we are living in a way that gives contentment and peace.

Hopefully I’ve found that path and hope you can find it too.

This is a tough one and I can only speak of my experience rather than giving advice because honestly it can be life changing and not in what some people would accept as a good change.

I am still in the process of discovering who I really am with the help of my therapist. I have always thought that my purpose in life was to serve others and make sure they were happy without considering my own needs.

Since trying gently to push a little in my primary relationships to fulfill my needs there has been significant pushback which hurts but it has gradually led me to understand I only exist for what I can bring to those relationships and they don’t want me to change.

Its weird but my autism diagnosis has brought clarity to so many aspects of my life, and I am grateful it has.

Yes it hurts but I feel like a weight has been lifted because I have cut contact with mum and dad to a minimum and I am in the process of aiming to live on my own away from husband in the very near future hopefully.  I no longer have to carry the weight of their emotions which feels quite freeing.

It’s such a delicate area unmasking but we all deserve to live a life where we are living in a way that gives contentment and peace.

Hopefully I’ve found that path and hope you can find it too.

I wish I could write this as well as you, maybe that’s part of my problem, I struggle to express how I actually feel, it’s maybe fear of the reply.

I’m hopefully permanently moving into my new home soon, it’s still having work done, I have planned a “man cave” to retreat to. 

My nearest family member will be 250 miles away, I’ve decided that I don’t really want contact with them anymore.  I’m hoping Cornwall will give me a space where nobody has prejudged me. My wife is planning to do more social things, swimming and rowing,  I’m happy to work around the property, it has some land with it so i have some space, it’s hard to explain that I don’t need to go out and socialise.
Needing solitude shouldn’t be viewed as being “moody,” burnout isn’t being lazy. I told someone I’m autistic who I thought would understand, answer was, “I suspect you just need to sort yourself out a bit more.”

I find my life is very much me doing things for everyone, when I finally ask for help, nothing is returned.

I do believe there shouldn’t be a them and us culture, but I do wonder if N.T people ever can understand what it’s like to be autistic.

I really hope you find happiness in your new life.