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Choosing not to unmask completely?

counterpoint

Sometimes, I feel that the cost of unmasking and risking feeling misunderstood regarding my own autism may be greater than keeping the diagnosis for myself, not talking about it, and resuming my previous life while mitigating the problems with some invisible adjustments.

I can imagine the risks of possibly suppressing my own needs and working against my own brain and body, but being almost 50 years old means that I'm somehow a hybrid of a newly discovered autistic self and life-spanning coping and surviving mechanisms, and that the latter are an integral part of myself.

I've read that some people decide to do that. I'm just wondering if someone here has managed to resume their previous life, choosing to leave the "label" behind so others don't know, in a way where they feel complete and happy despite choosing not to unmask completely?

Parents

  • Hi   well I certainly haven't managed to do that! I am instead attempting to mask as little as possible in response to my burnout. Hope someone else can offer you insight into that 'resume previous life' experience - it would be fascinating to read.

  • in reply to leveller61

    Yes, it's difficult to mask in burnout. I haven't had the courage to leave my masks often yet, especially with people I know. For now, I either avoid more demanding social interactions or try to adopt a less involved stance to avoid feeling guilty for not meeting expectations.

    Sometimes, I consciously ignore requests that aren't clear enough, which I believe is something most people do anyway, as a way of desensitising myself to that pressure to always perform.

    Thank you for your kind reply. I hope your recovery leads you to a better place!

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  • in reply to leveller61

    Yes, it's difficult to mask in burnout. I haven't had the courage to leave my masks often yet, especially with people I know. For now, I either avoid more demanding social interactions or try to adopt a less involved stance to avoid feeling guilty for not meeting expectations.

    Sometimes, I consciously ignore requests that aren't clear enough, which I believe is something most people do anyway, as a way of desensitising myself to that pressure to always perform.

    Thank you for your kind reply. I hope your recovery leads you to a better place!

Children