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Experience of Autistic Burnout

Homebird

I am currently in the stage of slow progress and have learnt that pushing beyond limits makes things worse. I have also read warnings about not restarting things when a little progress has been made.

I have resolved myself to allowing enough time to recover before returning to work. However work have now started regular reviews. I have said this may take a while. Their policy is that more contact means people return sooner. I also don't think they get the difference between ordinary stress and autistic burnout.

I would be interested in other people's experiences.

Parents

  • Hello homeward

    I so relate to what you said about spending a lifetime fitting in with others so its difficult to advocate for yourself. Its like I've got 50 years of a hard wired system of not saying what I feel or need, its not easy to just start doing that as it goes against what I naturally want to do.

    In relation to burnout, I've found something from a Dr Alice Nicholls called step by step recovery from autistic burnout really helpful. If you Google thst you should get it. She herself is autistic and has been through burnout, its one of the best bits of information I've read on getting through burnout. 

    Good luck. 

  • in reply to Lemon slice

    Thank you for the mention of Dr Alice Nicholls. She has some very helpful information. I note some things in conversation I hadn't even thought of as masking. 

  • in reply to Homebird

    From what I've seen on her site, Dr Nicholls nails the basics: she defines masking as suppressing your autistic traits to "fit in" (like forcing eye contact, hiding stims, or rehearsing chats), explains why we do it (fear of rejection, shame, survival), and links it straight to burnout - energy drain, low self-worth, etc. She gives everyday examples too: pretending to like stuff you hate, monitoring speech, wearing itchy clothes... and yeah, she spots subtle ones you might've missed, like unconsciously playing "listener" or "tea maker" roles.

    But here's where she doesn't go deep:

    • No big dive into gender stuff - she doesn't talk about how women mask differently (e.g., more internal, emotional camouflage vs men's external).

    • Little on co-occurring things like ADHD (your control urges might mix masking + executive dysfunction) or dyspraxia (clumsy movements adding to the "wrong" feeling).

    • Physical toll? Barely touched - stuff like chronic pain, gut issues, or sleep from constant vigilance.

    • Workplace or broader life? Mostly close relationships/family unmasking; no real strategies for jobs, friends, or society pushing us to mask.

    • No citations or research - just her client stories and psych lens. Great for relatability, but light on evidence if you want "why scientifically."

    She's strong on burnout recovery (rest types, shame-busting), but if you're after intersections or long-haul effects, you'd need to look elsewhere - like Neurodivergent Insights or Reframing Autism for more layered takes.

  • in reply to lostmyway

    Which area of the Australian site and which area of the USA site?

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