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Am I overthinking/ being too sensitive? (at work)

Renvela22

So I have a new job at a closed door pharmacy that I’ve been at for about 3 weeks and it’s not perfect but it’s miles above the disaster of my last job (that’s a story for another day). But I’ve already had incidents with one of the managers that make me worry that I’m going to be labeled as being dramatic or problematic. 

The first one happened last week. I do not have my own printer to print labels that are required to fill prescriptions with. When we got done typing (the data entry phase) I asked the girl I’m being forced to share a printer with to let me use it and she outright said no. Then the manager told me to just make syringe kits (for injecting the glp-1 meds we dispense). I was frustrated and said under my breath “I was hoping to fill today but okay.” The manger had the music turned off and said in front of everybody “what did you say?! Why did you give me such an attitude?!” Fighting off the panic attack something like that is inevitably going to cause I tried to explain that I was hoping to get more experience filling. I had a hard time expressing this but my reasoning is everyone gets to type but I’m the only one who doesn’t get to fill. I ended up just defaulting to “okay” to everything she said then cried in the bathroom for like 20 minutes. 

After that incident I decided I’m going to just keep my head down and not talk to anyone so I had my earbuds in both ears. Also to down out the god awful music they play incredibly loudly. She needed my attention to tell me I made a very small mistake and I was told I can only have one earbud in. I explained that I cannot focus with the loud music she said we can’t be working in silence. I texted the boss and eventually we came to the conclusion of them turning the music down, which they barely did, and it’s still incredibly distracting, but clearly I’m going to just have to deal with it. 

Also a smaller thing did happen earlier with the same manager. It was my FIRST WEEK on the job and I made some mistakes because I’m a human being (and was trained by someone who had only been there a week). She put a message in the group chat saying mistakes are unacceptable because it takes the team more time to fix them. Like okay that’s obviously incredibly unrealistic so I just ignored it.

So now I’m absolutely terrified to say anything to anyone other than basic greetings like “good morning” and yes to whatever is asked of me. I’m worried I’m already being labeled as a complainer and problematic. I am worried I will be fired if anything else happens because they’ll perceive me as causing drama. In my opinion the manager is just incredibly rude but she’s very close to the boss so there’s nothing I can do about that. I think I need to just be happy I have a job and suck it up but that’s very hard for me because I can’t ever seem to just keep my mouth shut when I’m unhappy with something. It feels like that’s all I can do though is just say nothing. 

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  • Good morning from America, Renvela22!

    This is a tricky one, since it sounds like you are fairly interested and skilled in this job. It’s not easy to find jobs that you can feel mostly comfortable in, so I’d advise - at least for now - to not abandon ship quite yet. Have you had much discussion with the boss themself yet? I wonder if disclosing to them your Autism would be a good idea. It’s not always the best idea, but if it is someone you think would understand Autism, that might safeguard you from the manager complaining about you.

    It sounds like you need someone in the company that you can talk to. I don’t know if the boss is the right person for that, but it certainly isn’t the manager.

  • in reply to profdanger

    It’s a very small workplace, less than 20 people. I’m looking for another job anyway because it turned out to be part time which was not disclosed ahead of time. I told the boss about my autism and she didn’t really say anything (we mostly text). I tried to hide it from my last job and that ended in disaster so I’m not sure what’s a better option anymore.

  • in reply to Renvela22
    Renvela22 said:
    because it turned out to be part time which was not disclosed ahead of time.

    Say whaat? Okay, yeah, that’s pretty toxic. I don’t blame you for looking for another job if they did not disclose such an important detail.

    Renvela22 said:
    I tried to hide it from my last job and that ended in disaster so I’m not sure what’s a better option anymore.

    Yeah, that’s a difficult thing. On one hand, it can make the workplace so much better when your boss knows (it’s worked really well for my current job). On the other hand, it does open you up to potential workplace discrimination. I don’t think there is a right answer; You kind of just need to get a sense of whether it is the right job to disclose for or not before you do.

  • in reply to profdanger

    Yeah, that's solid advice - thanks for chiming in from the inside. As a job coach for VR, you know the drill better than most.

    Vocational Rehabilitation really is one of the best free resources out there for autistic adults hunting jobs. It's federal money funneled through states, so every place has it - no income test, just proof your disability (like autism) blocks steady work. For us, that means showing how sensory stuff, executive function, or social overload makes "regular" jobs tough. If you're on SSI/SSDI, you're basically auto-eligible - otherwise, a diagnosis letter or doc note usually seals it.

    Application's straightforward: Google " Vocational Rehabilitation" (like "California DOR" or "New York ACCES-VR"), hit their site, fill the online form or call. They do an assessment, build a plan with you - resume help, interview prep, job leads, even on-site coaching like you do. Some cover training or tools. Not instant - waitlists happen - but it's tailored, no judgment.

    Success stories? Plenty - folks land steady gigs in retail, tech, or creative stuff once they get the right fit. One guy with autism went from no job to full-time data entry after VR coached him on routines. Downside: some states push "any job" over "good job," so low-pay part-time happens. But hey, better than nothing.

    If anyone's reading this and thinking "maybe," start with your state's agency - RSA.ed.gov has the full list. Or ask your local Autism Speaks chapter - they guide folks through it.

    Thanks again for the tip - you're doing real good out there.

Reply
  • in reply to profdanger

    Yeah, that's solid advice - thanks for chiming in from the inside. As a job coach for VR, you know the drill better than most.

    Vocational Rehabilitation really is one of the best free resources out there for autistic adults hunting jobs. It's federal money funneled through states, so every place has it - no income test, just proof your disability (like autism) blocks steady work. For us, that means showing how sensory stuff, executive function, or social overload makes "regular" jobs tough. If you're on SSI/SSDI, you're basically auto-eligible - otherwise, a diagnosis letter or doc note usually seals it.

    Application's straightforward: Google " Vocational Rehabilitation" (like "California DOR" or "New York ACCES-VR"), hit their site, fill the online form or call. They do an assessment, build a plan with you - resume help, interview prep, job leads, even on-site coaching like you do. Some cover training or tools. Not instant - waitlists happen - but it's tailored, no judgment.

    Success stories? Plenty - folks land steady gigs in retail, tech, or creative stuff once they get the right fit. One guy with autism went from no job to full-time data entry after VR coached him on routines. Downside: some states push "any job" over "good job," so low-pay part-time happens. But hey, better than nothing.

    If anyone's reading this and thinking "maybe," start with your state's agency - RSA.ed.gov has the full list. Or ask your local Autism Speaks chapter - they guide folks through it.

    Thanks again for the tip - you're doing real good out there.

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