Struggles at work

Yes - I experience this too- I have days where I barely function anymore and I don’t know why. I used to be more resilient and have cut back a lot on how much work I do but I just feel worse (I’m a PhD student working in the lab). 

I'm definitely having a pottering day today, despite being in the office. I'm taking my time getting things done and giving myself lots of breaks. It helps that I'm here on my own today so I can chill a bit.

My goodness, all of that is so very familiar. Thank you. I can definitely see where I can restructure my schedule using that information.

Yes this is so me and it's restraint collapsed, I've not been able to work full time since 2013 as a result 

What it is

It's the neurological and emotional release that happens after you've spent extended time masking, suppressing sensory reactions, managing social demands, or holding yourself together in a demanding environment.

The effort of sustained regulation depletes resources, and when you reach a "safe" space, usually home, the system finally lets go.

What looks like a sudden crash is actually the result of successful effort earlier.

It's not a failure. It's your nervous system doing its job and then recovering.

Why it happens

Masking and self-monitoring are genuinely cognitively expensive

Sensory suppression requires active effort, it doesn't just happen passively

The transition to "safe" space removes the scaffolding that was holding things together

Your nervous system recognises safety and finally allows release

Practical strategies

• Before the collapse point

Try to identify your personal warning signs, reduced tolerance for noise, slower processing, difficulty forming sentences, physical tension

Build in a decompression buffer before you fully crash, if possible (e.g. a quiet transition period between arriving home and re-engaging socially)

Communicate with family in advance about what the collapse phase looks like and that it isn't about them 

During collapse

Treat it as a legitimate recovery need, not something to push through

Reduce demands to zero if possible, this includes social and communicative demands

Sensory comfort tools (weighted blanket, headphones, low light) are appropriate here

Avoid making decisions or commitments during this window

Structurally

Where possible, protect the post-demand period, avoid scheduling things immediately after high-demand activities

Recovery time is real time and needs to be budgeted for, not borrowed from

The severity of collapse often correlates with how long and how hard you had to mask, so reducing masking demands overall (where safe to do so) can reduce collapse intensity over time

The thing worth knowing

The collapse itself isn't the problem — it's information. It tells you how much the preceding period cost you. Over time, tracking when collapses happen and how long recovery takes can help you map your actual capacity, which is genuinely useful data for pacing.

At least you have an understanding manager. This was not the case with me after 30 years service I was removed from my role and placed into redeployment in temporary roles that bear very little to my niche experience and qualifications.  I have effectively had my whole career ended and is now in the hands of the employment tribunal.

It is always good to see that there are some understanding in the world of employment.

most neurodivergent people run into burnout and more often than they might even realise as we often push ourselves to keep going.  Yes it is painful, exhausting but psychologically painful too as we feel we are failing. WE ARE NOT failing at all, of course. Glad you've got an understanding manager. another factor I always found until I managed to stop is it adding to my own exhaustion by piling in negative feedback onto myself, judging myself for not being better. Today I've had a pottering kind of day, lots of little minor jobs done to make it productive but nothing requiring too much concentration. it has been lovely and restful but not wasted. I also took a walk outside in the sunshine to make myself feel more connected with the natural world. That is also deeply restorative, just a small patch of greenery can do the trick for burnout. good luck but exploring your internal thought patterns against yourself is a massive help as is accepting your limitations and working constructively with them.

hope this makes sense and helps

Hi there.

I have got reasonable adjustments in place like working from home if I need to but unfortunately no occupational health department. My manager is pretty good and fully understands how things affect me. We are coming up for a particularly busy period so I will definitely be having a discussion with her. I also have massive guilt feelings if I can't function properly which doesn't help. I always feel like I should be busy even if it's a quiet time. I think I'm still trying to navigate this crazy train that is AuDHD! However, it's good to know that this isn't unusual for us.

Hi fellow 'Lateling'

What you describe is dysregulation after too much stimuli. This can result in autistic burnout if not mitigated for.

Do you have any reasonable adjustments in place. It could be as simple as task organisation to spread your workload in manageable chunks.

Do you have an occupational health derpartment, if so, request a refferal.

Have you discussed with you manager the fact you are AuDHD?

This may just be a temporary blip at a particularly busy period.

To answer your question I get that fatigued feeling every evening and understand what you mean.