Alexithymia - I came across this word, which appears to describes myself, does this resonate with others on the spectrum ? Does cPTSD in autism contribute or cause this, or could it just be (c)PTSD. Especially repeated shutting down over time. How do you know if shutting down is the autism, or ptsd?
I'm not a psychiatrist, so I won't try to conclude what alexithymia means in your case. I do know that it could be either, and that the mechanisms behind it can be different. In autism, it's often considered to be related to differences in sensory and emotional processing. It may be more of a "day to day"experience. In PTSD or cPTSD, it could function as a protective mechanism, where emotional awareness becomes reduced when the body perceives a threat. It could also be an interaction between both of these factors.
I came across it a few years ago when it was mentioned by a mental health person. I often feel that I have quite a stunted emotional range and I can't easily describe how I'm truly feeling.
I have TRD and I genuinely don't feel happy, even when I reach the space where that feeling should reside, it's just not there.
My physical response to this is tears and I'm now convinced that it's emotional dysregulation which is triggered by strong emotions. Just because I don't know that these emotions are there, it doesn't mean that they are not real!
What to do about it is the trick, I'm too long on the tooth to get an emotion wheel and I just take the emotions to suit the situation, if people don't know you are suffering they tend not to pry.
Likewise I see how my shutting down is a protective measure, not that it always protects me mind you. I can also get overwhelmed by stuff and shut down
Prior to my autism assessment, fortunately, I knew about alexithymia. It was a difficult personal journey to accept that I experience it, and to understand that not being able to describe or identify emotions didn't mean I was unfeeling and "malfunctioning". It still didn't prepare me for how difficult I found it to answer the question "What does happiness feel like?", and the excruciatingly uncomfortable silence during the assessment while I tried to "find" the feeling.
Alexithymia is a part of my life, for sure. It takes me ages to find the right word to put to the emotions or sensations I am feeling. I can describe the sensation easily (e.g. 'fizzy ankles') but its emotional meaning often eludes me for hours.
My autism/ADHD assessor believes I have C-PTSD from cumulative childhood trauma. I can see how my own shutdown response is a protective measure once I experience trigger stresses. I imagine logically that alexithymia and C-PTSD are correlated but I am not a clinician and so encourage more informed posters to add their thoughts.
Hi
Yeah massively. I didn't realise until fairly recently that 1. I didnt know how I feel to any deep level. I only knew if the feeling was good or bad. I would dismiss any 'how are you question' with 'im ok' or 'im not ok'... I thought this was just casual speech. When a counsellor prompted further I realised I didn't know how I felt. I found emotion wheels useful but then...stopped using them
2. I would show outward anger when it wasn't anger I felt. I assumed people would recognise my outward behaviour as something else...but only recently I realised they always thought it was anger.
I shut down an awful lot in adult life. Probably as a child tended to meltdown. However I never did this at school...only home.
Spot on!
I attended an academic webinar about alexithymia. In the question & answer section; I asked when we could look forward to alexithymia-friendly clinical psychology questionnaires / wellbeing forms etc.?
...they did admit that would be a good idea.
(I did give it a good try).
