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The Naming Ceremony: Is Diagnosis a Modern Shamanic Ritual?

Phased
While the clinical world is often obsessed with "disorders," most of us know that’s a fundamentally broken way to describe our experience. Lately, I’ve been thinking that for many in the neurodivergent community, getting that formal recognition—or finding your own path to self-understanding—feels less like a medical report and more like a naming ceremony.
I have to give a huge nod to TheCatWoman for this spark. In a recent chat, she used the brilliant analogy: trying to run a neurodivergent brain on neurotypical psychology is like trying to run Windows on an Apple. It got me thinking—if the "operating systems" are that different, then the people who originally built these theories weren't really scientists in the modern sense. They were more like 20th-century shamans trying to map a spirit world they didn't fully understand.
In ancient cultures, a naming ritual was a way to reintegrate someone whose "spirit" seemed at odds with the world. Once named, the "problem" became a "trait," and the person could finally take their rightful place in the tribe. Whether that name comes from a formal assessment or through the "vision quest" of self-diagnosis, it’s a powerful moment of literal recognition. It's like finally identifying with your own spirit animal—finding the creature that actually matches your tracks, rather than trying to pretend you’re a wolf when you’re actually a horse.
I also noticed NAS recently asking the community to share their own tips for securing reasonable adjustments. I suspect they may have been pivoting from my earlier post about being fed up with the lack of them! In this shamanic framework, when a group asks the tribe for their "how-to" guides, they are gathering the communal wisdom needed to help us become the Architects of our own Sacred Space.
These adjustments—whether it's noise-cancelling, flexible hours, or literal task lists—are the protective boundaries that stop our "Apple" OS from overheating in a "Windows" world and the horses getting predated by the wolves.
For those of you who have found your "Name"—whether through a clinician or your own research—did it feel like a clinical label, or did it feel like a ceremony that finally brought your soul home?
  • in reply to Phased

    Often what appears as our greatest enemy can be our greatest teacher.

    We can look for that which repeats itself in our lives, often painfully, as things we need to learn, for me one of those has been how I choose friends and my expectations within friendships. Now I have very few friends and feel much better for it.

  • I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has shared their own names and metaphors here. This all started with TheCatWoman and her windows on an apple spark, and it’s been a real privilege to watch the herd find its own tracks.
    From Dormouse's adaptable linux and totems, to Martin’s royal oak, Pietro’s gearbox, Cinnabar_wing’s tribal tattoo, and ArchaeC’s neolithic figurines—it’s felt like we’ve been writing a new chapter of Steve Silberman’s neurotribes right here on the thread.
    Like Silberman says, our operating systems aren't broken; they’re just a different human architecture with their own ancient lineage. Whether we see it as a shamanic naming ceremony, or a red pill moment like Stuart mentioned, the result is the same: the old wolf reality just doesn't fit us anymore.
    The release of shame ArchaeC spoke about is so visceral, but as I’m finding after 58 years, the audit is a long, slow process. I’m going to step back for a while and let the thread run itself, but I’ll definitely join back in later if anyone has more they want to add.
    The old man knows the path is long and the gears always need a bit of grease, but for now, I hope you all find a bit more sacred space in your own paddocks. Keep oiling those gearboxes and trusting your own tracks!
  • in reply to Stuart333
    I hear you, Stuart. When you're in the middle of burnout and just struggling to keep the gears turning, a diagnosis can definitely feel more like a cold clinical report than a spiritual ceremony.
    I think your mention of the red pill from the matrix is a great way to put it. In a way, that’s exactly what I mean by the 'shamanic' side of it—it’s that moment where the neurotypical illusion breaks and you finally see the underlying code of your own hardware.
    Whether we call it a shamanic ritual or a red pill moment, the result is the same: the old reality doesn't fit anymore. It’s a tough transition, especially after 58 years (or however long the audit takes), but as you said, seeing things as they are is the only way to start building something that actually works.

  • I think shamans have some spiritual connection. Do psychologists converse with spirits, foretell the future, divine some natural purpose? I don't think so. They just assess you according to some externally visible criteria.

    Is the process to share secret knowledge, cleanse your spirit or banish demons? Not really.

    Does it induct you to a club or act as a coming of age ritual? Perhaps, but I think that is overreading it.

    Is the label useful to legitimise personal discovery, encourage growth and inner peace? It can be, but the journey is your own and the label is just the start. The ritual is just the red pill (to borrow from The Matrix).Seeing things as they are is more truthful, but not necessarily easier.

    What to make of the new reality is the challenge.

    It felt like a clinical label to me. But perhaps being diagnosed while burnt out and struggling was unlikely to feel an uplifting experience.

  • in reply to Martin
    Sorry for the delay in getting back to you  . That’s a great piece of history to bring in. The oak tree is a perfect totem—it’s solid, deeply rooted, and doesn't try to be anything else.
    The story of Colonel Careless is a powerful metaphor for what we’ve been talking about. Sometimes we just need that 'royal oak'—a safe place to be ourselves while the rest of the world is rushing around like wolves outside. After 58 years, I’m finding that building my own version of that sanctuary is the best way to protect my dragon-horse nature
  • in reply to ArchaeC
    What a profound way to describe that 'exquisite release.' After sixty years, it’s no wonder it felt so visceral—that’s a lifetime of 'wolf' expectations finally being lifted off your ribs.
    I really relate to what you said about needing that 'credible authority' to finally trust yourself. Sometimes, we need a 'judge' to deliver the verdict before we can finally grant ourselves a pardon for the shame we never deserved to carry.
    Your idea of shaping a Neolithic figurine as a reflection of yourself is a beautiful 'naming ceremony' in waiting. It’s like you’re reaching back to a time when being human had a different 'philosophy' entirely—one that might have had much more room for the horse-dragons among us. I hope when that ceremony happens, it feels like the final piece of the audit falling into place.
  • in reply to TheCatWoman
    Ah    , I love this response :-) It feels like the right moment to say 'blessed be' to that.
    There is so much dashing around in my head to respond with! I love the witchy energy you've brought to the thread—it makes me think of my absolute favourite Terry Pratchett characters. I won’t be so rude as to ask about secret names, but it’s fascinating to see how that framework gave you such a solid place to stand.
    It’s interesting you mention walking with cats, as I’ve always felt a connection to the dragon-horse from eastern tradition. On the surface, it’s a sturdy horse doing the heavy lifting in a wolf world, but underneath, it keeps its mythical, dragon nature. Some even call me 'old man,' which I suppose is my own way of acknowledging the taoist path of just being the nature you are.
    Your point about the power of the name is spot on. Shifting from 'power over' a disorder to 'working with' our nature turns autism from a medical problem into a teacher. While I’ve been able to 'just sit with' some parts of my life for a long time, I'm only now learning to apply that same grace to the areas I've spent 58 years trying to force into a different shape.
    Whether we are cats, horses, or dragons, it seems we’re all just trying to build that sacred space where our multihued nature isn't predated by a grey, windows world
  • Phased said:
    Architects of our own Sacred Space.

    Great post  

    When told of my ASD diagnosis my emotions and thoughts were jumping about all over the place. It was a preposterous thought to be autistic and for there to be a known cause for my behaviour and ensuing shame, along with other difficulties. Within a minute or so ‘my ribs contracted and my stomach leapt into my mouth’ or so it felt in the sense of an exquisite release of much of the shame that had built up over more than sixty years.

    It felt like a clinical label. In the absence of an alternative the label was required to give me validation. I would never have trusted myself enough to release shame without credible evidence and authority. That doesn’t take away from the journey my soul took to bring me home.

    I wrote a piece about my journey from earliest memory to diagnosis in the form of an article. I suppose it’s like a mini memoir yet it’s of therapeutic value only to me. 

    Years before diagnosis I wrote a piece about some clay Neolithic anthropomorphic figurines being ‘philosophies of being human’. It included an introduction thanking my tutor for introducing me to an ancient people who understood how to reflect the meaning and function of being human.

    I’m not artistic but I would like to shape a lump of clay into something that resembles a Neolithic figurine, but it would be a reflection of me. That ceremony is yet to be. 

  • Phased, I'm really touched that you credit me with inspiring this thread, although I'm not sure I can add much at the moment.

    For me that moment of inner recognition came when I discovered Wicca and The Goddess, I felt like I'd put down a huge weight I'd been carrying and I gained a framework from which to start building from. Although I wouldn't class myself as a practitioner of Wicca now and my spiritual understanding has developed hugely in the last 40 years, finding my place in the spiritual worlds gave a sense of self and rightness, even when things were going wrong. So much of Magical practice involves creating your own sacred space, it rarely ever occurs to me now that other people don't do it, why that should be as I spent so many years guiding people at uni along their spiritual path, a bt of a Duh moment I guess.

    As my name suggests I walk with cats and have done for a very long time, way before I found Wicca, I think I identify with creatures who walk alone and are fiercely independent whilst at the same time are happy to live in a pride as long as they are able to have thier own space.

    The power of the name is one of the oldest principles of magic, you can't have power with that which you can't name, being able to name autism is powerful, you now have something to work with, I'd not say to have power over, because to me thats just wrong, but to accept and work with something allows it to teach you as well as for you to have some boundaries within it.

    One of the odd things about how we think about anything from a common cold to autism, is we consider them a "disorder", something we need to impose our will on and make it go away. Obviously none of us want to lie there at night with a nose like a dripping tap and a irritating cough, but we know we just have to sit it out. Autism we need to sit with, maybe even see it as an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and have an awareness of the universe that NT's can really struggle with.

    Other's will probably disagree with me about this, those who's worlds are very black and white, unlike me who's thinking is very magical and multihued.

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing
    What a powerful way to describe it  —that 'lightning bolt' moment of seeing your true reflection in the stream. It’s exactly that shift from thinking you’re a 'bad version' of one animal to realizing you’re a completely different species with your own tracks.
    I love the 'Tribal Tattoo' analogy for the official diagnosis. It fits perfectly with the Naming Ceremony—the internal realization is the spirit, but the tattoo is the permanent mark that says you belong to the herd. It sounds like that ADOS assessment was the 'ordeal' that finally stripped away the Wolf mask for good. hehe makes me want to give a co-tribal "whhoop" and maybe a bit of a haka too!  PS I am so tempted to dive off in a sideline about tribal tattoos but I am being strict with myself...
  • in reply to DormouseAtRest_25

    :-) That's smart and witty  I love the updated analogy you give. If it's Ok I'd like to use that one myself!

  • I think the first moment was finding out about adult autism, and that sudden lightning bolt that what I was listening to could be talking about me. It was like looking into a stream and seeing your reflection for the first time, that I wasn't a bad version of one animal but a different animal all along. 

    Second moment was walking out of doing an in-person ADOS. I had come to it prepared to be open, but wasn't prepared for walking out realising I had never felt so autistic in my life and actually having a word to use other than weird. They hadn't said it at that point, but I knew I couldn't hide it from myself any longer. That was when I joined the forum, as an act of embracing it.

    Getting the offical diagnosis helped to cement it then, but for me the other two points of naming were stronger, evoking. The diagnosis was like a tribal tatoo part of the ceremony after the main experience.

  • in reply to Phased

    Maybe more 'adaptable Linux': free, open-source, highly customizable, secure system and offers diverse desktop environments.

  • in reply to Phased

    My clan totem is an oak tree; my clan hero, Colonel William Careless, hid Charles II in one at Boscobel in 1651. To paraphrase, "I loved the people and the people loved me. So much I had to hide up a tree."

  • in reply to Martin
    I really relate to what you said about the 'compulsive doublethink'  —I’ve struggled with that exact same issue myself. It’s like having two competing files open in your brain at once: one with all the evidence that you’re autistic, and another filled with a lifetime of neurotypical 'wolf' expectations telling you that you’re just making it up.
    To be honest, even with the official 'seal of approval,' that file hasn't properly closed for me yet. After 58 years of being undiagnosed, there is a mountain of 'doublethink' to work through. The diagnosis acts as the high court judge's verdict, but the process of actually reframing nearly six decades of life takes a lot of time. It’s a slow transition from 'broken Windows' to 'functioning Apple,' but at least the official seal means the internal debate can finally start to settle.
  • in reply to DormouseAtRest_25
    The idea of the Totem fits perfectly with what Steve Silberman explores in the perhaps foundational, for us, NeuroTribes book. He talks about how we aren't just isolated individuals, but part of a long historical lineage of people who have always been the 'system-builders' of the human tribe.
    Viewing the diagnosis as a Totem—an emblem of a 'clan' with its own ancestry—changes everything. It’s no longer just a medical 'Name'; it’s a connection to a family of minds that stretches back centuries. It reminds us that our 'Apple' hardware isn't a modern glitch, but a long-standing tribal asset.

  • Maybe, for me, more like a totem animal?:

    "
    1
    a : an object (such as an animal or plant) serving as the emblem of a family or clan and often as a reminder of its ancestry
    also : a usually carved or painted representation of such an object
    b : a family or clan identified by a common totemic object
    2 : one that serves as an emblem or revered symbol
    "

  • My diagnosis mostly felt like a validation. I had feverishly researched adult autism traits, after having the initial pointer towards me being autistic, and I was both entirely convinced that I was autistic and, at the same time, doubting that I was. I needed a medical/official 'seal of approval' in order to quieten my compulsive doublethink.