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Job/ Career prospects (vent)

Glizbeth

Heyo, it's been forever since I checked this forum out. 

On that usual job/apprenticeship struggle, starting to learn that I really don't find anything interesting in the context of work. I'm only seeing it as a means to an end and hate the thought of slaving away for a wage at a full-time job.

Currently on benefits, my universal credit youth coach is still trying to find me something but I just don't care for any job or career. Sure I'm interested in the field but not in a work context, it literally kills any of my motivation to do or learn. 
I've got this apprenticeship video record interview due today (I'm not doing it, I genuinely feel like a gun is pointed at me), not thrilled at all to do it. I hate that I made come across interested sometimes but I feel like I'm masking my own disinterest. It's like a flip flop between "Oh I have to be interested because I need a job" and "Why am I doing this to myself?" I genuinely couldn't give a flying *** about applying to jobs. I'm just doing it to do it, not because I'm genuinely looking to do it.

And monetizing my art hobby for money is also making me feel like it's an obligation...Ugh....I know I'm still coming to terms that I might just not be built for work and need support. It doesn't help that people assume that autism isn't that disabling. Is it because I see through the *** of adult life? 

Placing my bets that I'm still going to urged to get a job, I hate people "owning" my time but I also need structure (I literally to make my own, starting to pick up on that). Make it make sense!!!
I'm sooo tired of having the stress of money stop me from enjoying living.

And to add to this dumpster fire, this has been the most happy and healthy I've been in forever and getting a job is going to make it worst. I literally have to choose money or my own health.

I know my Mum has just came to terms that I probably won't be able to work in a normal capacity. Which takes pressure of me but I don't like feeling like a burden to people. I'm not even close to my 30s and this is the only thing bothering me. Can't people get it through their thick skulls that yeah I'm smart but that don't mean I have the capacity to work!!!


I'm soooo done with this, I've ignoring my own intuition for a long time and it's cost me. At 18 I knew full-time work was going to be a detriment to my health, I ignored it and guess what?? I was right and most of my hunches have been correct. I can't take any of this seriously anymore...

Still waiting on the NHS lifelink referral to get back to me. And I'm guessing I'll get the same "gaslight yourself" premise and arguments if I do get a respond from them soon.

Is it really a crime to not want to work and just leave me the *** alone? (I know that's not viable since Everyone "needs" to work.)

Parents

  • Welcome back Glizbeth!

    I’m sorry to hear that you’re stuck in a difficult position deciding if your good health can be sustained with work. I think you did mention one good thing about working which was:

    Glizbeth said:
    but I also need structure

    It does give structure and a built-in social network, which can both be beneficial.

    One thing you might keep in mind if you do end up going for employment is how is the job going to drain you? Will it be physically (factory work), mentally (desk job), or both (fast food)? If you can determine how it is going to drag you down at the end of the day before you start working, you could possibly figure out ways to accommodate for that. Ex. if it is a physically demanding job, maybe work out before shifts rather than after shifts?

    Sorry I’m taking a more pro-work stance btw. I totally understand work isn’t for everybody. My job is to find employment for people with disabilities, so I’m a little biased lol

  • in reply to profdanger

    I've mostly worked in retail and fast food so, even the part-time hours take it out of me. I'd like something outside that but I just don't seem to care at all. Most of the things to stress me out are the dealing with people in general and the environment. The doing the job part has never been the issue if I get to do different things every so often.

    The structure part for me is irrelevant now, it's for finances that I "need" a job for money to live. I'm still going back to tech for some reason but they always seem to need a lot to get your foot in the door. Shifts get me to dread no matter what but I do have a preference for morning shifts to enjoy the rest of my day.

    It's just frustrating that I'm still to find something to get money in. 

Reply
  • in reply to profdanger

    I've mostly worked in retail and fast food so, even the part-time hours take it out of me. I'd like something outside that but I just don't seem to care at all. Most of the things to stress me out are the dealing with people in general and the environment. The doing the job part has never been the issue if I get to do different things every so often.

    The structure part for me is irrelevant now, it's for finances that I "need" a job for money to live. I'm still going back to tech for some reason but they always seem to need a lot to get your foot in the door. Shifts get me to dread no matter what but I do have a preference for morning shifts to enjoy the rest of my day.

    It's just frustrating that I'm still to find something to get money in. 

Children
  • in reply to Glizbeth

    Retail and fast food? Yikes. Both of those seem like horrible situations for people with Autism in general. They’re just not built for people like us.

    If customers stress you out, have you considered custodial work? Repetitive work, usually manageable time constraints, usually you can listen to your own music, and best of all there is little to no communication with customers involved.

    Yeah, it might not be glorious or exciting work, but it can pay the bills and possibly drain you less than other jobs.