I wanted to share my situation for anyone who would be able to relate. I’m 26 and never been in a relationship. This is not a huge insecurity to me. I would like to be in one, but also I don’t align with the way I see relationships around me as all consuming. I am used to building friendships, and so I have friendships that I’ve invested in, but not naturally felt the inclination towards romantic relationships.
i have had romantic feelings towards people before. Deep down, I enjoy being a free bird, exploring and being curious. I deeply treasure my friendships, regardless of gender . To give those friendships of the opposite sex up for a relationship doesn’t make sense to me. Especially my analytical mind likes to listen to new perspectives, and I’ve learnt lots from friends and allowed myself to consider their stories. I want a relationship where I can still be myself, and yet be able to really treasure the partner I’m with. I think I’ve grown up and learnt to see this decision as something to take my time with, and with my sensitive heart, I want to take time with my choice.
I want to make a natural decision to be in a relationship, but take the step to be honest with the person I like about my perspective , so that through the honesty I may be able to see if it’s something I really want. I feel a hardened part of me that feels like can be softened in a romantic relationship, not as a distraction, but in a deeper way.
i push and pull wishing whether I could have more experience in dating, intimacy and sex matters, but also I don’t feel it’s worth the energy to “collect experience” when there’s many things I’m curious in. I’ve been told in the past that I seem aloof, that I don’t try (I’ve had romantic advances, which because I wasn’t sure how to navigate, I navigated away from in a very masking way, until I struggled to mentally breathe and find what I really wanted.
I want to be in a relationship that isn’t the way I see in modern dating. but I want to see if it feels worth it to be in a relationship. I’m not afraid of mistakes (I was before, and that and the fact of masking my feelings for people has made this really challenging to open up in the way I feel to), I want to grow with someone in a romantic way, but without compromising on the essence of me. Any thoughts?
