Assessment A!

Well I think that was horrific - the woman doing it spent most of the time saying 'no that's not what I'm asking' whenever I answered anything. The way she talked to me, felt like I was annoying her the whole time.... 

Silver lining, surely I can't get anyone as rude and lacking empathy for the second part?!

Ah, that's not great emma90 :-(

Couple of thoughts to share that might be OK - if you're in the right emotional state for them?

Could it be that you were accidentally masking?

Also when I'm especially anxious I can get very defensive.

Whether the answer to those answers is yes, no or maybe, it's not ideal if the person leading what could be a difficult conversation is unable to maintain their emotional calm and their means of expression.

Hope you're OK now.

All the best.

Definitely a possibility - I'm not sure at this point what is me and what is me pretending to be whatever the world expects me to be.

I dont know if it was me not understanding the questions or my answers not fitting the options on her form at times... she asked about whether I have a best friend I see regularly and when I said that would be my partner or my sister she told me that's not a best friend and couldn't seem to fathom me not having someone else I would 'go on a night out with' as she put it. It felt judgemental at times... whether that was her or me, or a combo who knows

Definitely a possibility - I'm not sure at this point what is me and what is me pretending to be whatever the world expects me to be.

I dont know if it was me not understanding the questions or my answers not fitting the options on her form at times... she asked about whether I have a best friend I see regularly and when I said that would be my partner or my sister she told me that's not a best friend and couldn't seem to fathom me not having someone else I would 'go on a night out with' as she put it. It felt judgemental at times... whether that was her or me, or a combo who knows

I completely empathise with:

emma90 said:

Definitely a possibility - I'm not sure at this point what is me and what is me pretending to be whatever the world expects me to be.

The suggestion that one might be "masking" as one considers the possibility of being autistic I found to make really unsure of who I was too.

I eventually concluded that I am a summation of the expression of my behaviours.  However if these behaviours are "false" and I have been subconsciously applying them the what does that leave as the "real" me.

Especially when the mask came down I was revealed to be in a bit of an emotional state - such that my behaviour was not very pleasant to others nor myself.

I too would answer that my partner is my best friend, oh and what about my dog!  

The impression that I have is that the person might not be especially experienced at the interview process.  Or for some reason might have been revealing things about them-self.  This could be that they were "over-revealing" inappropriately by explaining that they could not empathise with your response.  After all the interview as I understand it includes assessment of social and communication issues so taken at face value not commented upon unless directly asked about by the interviewee perhaps.

Feeling judged when we reveal things might, as you say, reflect years of assessment of oneself by neurotypical standards and the conditioning of ones own response to revealing oneself openly.

Likewise it may be that the person displayed evidence that they were "judging" you.

In context I believe the process I experienced was assessment against criteria - possibly in a list sequentially or sometimes they sere skilled enough at getting a "bigger picture" and pulling the individual components out of it.  Sometimes when they were not sure they returned to the same point and re-phrased their enquiry or found another way at getting the details about that criteria to be able for the to ascertain an answer. 

The job they do is not I expect easy!  Blimey there are times when people who know me find it hard to understand me especially at the intersection of when I am finding it hard to understand myself and/or the sutuation

I would like to suggest that you have unresolved concerns about the process it might be wise to jot them down (dated) whilst they are still fresh in your mind and possibly raise them with someone with sufficient professional insight and authority on the matter.

Anyway I hope that the racing thoughts have eased off and your mind and body get a chance to relax now.

All the best :-)

That's pretty horrible to treat you like that really, I mean that's pretty common amoung autistics, it's kind of the same for me! To make your feel bad about it is unprofessional. 

If someone kept telling me I was giving answers wrong, it would be very upsetting.