Adult misdiagnosis

This is a very efficient timescale from referral to diagnosis, I feel a little envious as I’m still waiting. 
please don’t feel like an imposter, you did nothing wrong by asking to be referred and then getting diagnosed… I’m sure they wouldn’t have given you a false diagnosis. As others have said it will just take time to sink in. Take some time to read stuff on here, follow a few autistic people on Instagram etc, this will help you feel more settled about the whole thing. 

good to have the assessments ASD and ADHD close to one another.  I had my Autism diagnosed start of last year and ADHD this year.

It's becoming more common to get both diagnosis but they are done separately for the moment.

ADHD can masked ASD and vice versa so it may be 

Seems like you family are very ND.  One of my kids was diagnosed 12+ years before me and I didn't even think about it back then - other than he seemed to have lots of therapy.  Now my other child (also in their 20s) is thinking they are too following my AuDHD diagnosis.

You need way more time for the result to sink in, so try not to rush.  I think it's a normal reaction afterwards - I didn't know what to do for weeks.  I still haven't told some of my close family.

Just a thought Greendad, but have you done much reading about AuDHD? You mentioned that ADHD resonated with you a bit more so it may be that the presence of both is masking some autistic traits and making that part less clear to you. With me, Autism resonated more but not completely. My therapist suggested ADHD might also be present but it took me a long time to accept that. Once I read about the AuDHD experience it completely made sense.

I heard that a good diagnostician can quickly recognise an autistic person. So the conversation is only about confirming the diagnostician's suspicion that you are autistic. Probably the 1 hour was enough. There is much more to what you say, there is the behaviour,  communication style etc.

As people wrote here already, denial and imposter are quite common. I myself am on my way, nor diagnosed yet, so I don't how it will be for me and what the outcome will be. Autism and other neurodivergence often run in families. Only recently recognised and the kids get diagnosed first. It's nothing that they are the only one autistic family members. They are the first recognised.

You may need a professional help in processing the feelings you have after diagnosis. There are also articles on NAS site after diagnosis. 

I read a number of authorities have frozen referrals at the moment waiting as they've used up the budget for this year, will be reset on April. So perhaps there are more places available at the moment, hence the short wait time.

1hr seems quick. But is it possible to tell in that time for someone who is clear cut? Probably, if there are good forms with supporting information. They might also be more inclined to be positive given a confirmed family link.

Doubt is common. Imposter syndrome is there because you can do stuff. But it is spiky, it also varies over time and stress. Also being older, you may have arranged your life to hide the challenges, with lots of routines, avoiding novelty, limited social.groups, etc. It makes you think you are ok. The closer you are to burnout the more obvious the traits become. Maybe up already arrived at most of the accommodations independently, I have.

It takes months or years to fully accept. The hard part is thinking no matter how hard you tried you were never going to quite be the same, that you have been at a disadvantage, and then thinking back over your whole life.

The main challenge is trying to figure out how you are different, when you are looking out from the inside.

You will spend ages, then come to realise not much is wrong. But you will have more confidence because you know yourself.

Yeah good advice, thank you

Thats more difficult, ex's can get a bit vindictive and dismissive. I think you need to feel secure in your diagnosis before you tell your children and ex.

Yeah I might do that, thank you. I should have pointed out that she’s my ex-wife though! I don’t care what she thinks, it’s what she might say to the kids that worries me. 

A lot of older people are dismissive I think they see it as making a fuss and an exhibition of yourself.

Maybe you should talk to your GP or a mental health nurse about your concerns about your diagnosis, maybe your wife could come with you so as she can understand the diagnosis more?

It just doesn’t feel right. For some reason I feel doubtful about the diagnosis. So it feels that if I say I have asd it undermines the diagnoses of my children.

I’d like to be able to tell my children. I think it would be good for them to know. But I think their mum will say that the diagnosis is wrong and tell the kids that, and that will be confusing for them. 

I think my own mum will say the same. She was quite dismissive when my children were diagnosed and when her niece was diagnosed with adhd last year.

How are you undermining the diagnosis of your children? Maybe this is a journey you can all go on together? I think your long term friends reaction show's that you're still the same you you've always been. There does seem to be an inherited element to Autism and from what you've said it runs in the family, don't blame yourself though or anyone else, that would be futile, your brains just hooked up a little differently. If you're old enough to remember video players, its a bit like betamax and vhs, they both do the same thing, just a bit differently

Thank you. Yes I’ve read about how it can feel like imposter syndrome. I am in the uk. I was amazed at how quickly the appointment came. The MH specialist said it would take ages.  He referred me to Psychiatry UK in December.  The forms came in January and I completed them quite quickly. A day later I was able to choose an appointment on the portal, there were a huge amount of psychiatrists to choose from and many had availability a week or so later. I choose one who said he had autism and adhd in his bio.  The assessment only took an hour. It didn’t feel as in depth as I suspected. It also felt like he’d made his mind up before speaking to me. 

It makes sense in some respects but it also feels like it doesn’t fit in some ways. I also worry that I’m undermining the diagnoses of my children. 

What you describe is imposter syndrome a kind of denial. It is a kind of internalised ableism.

As someone who was diagnosed in their early fifties I can relate to your feelings that you have gotten by before now. So what has changed, you are still the same person as before but now you will be able to understand yourself (eventually). Be kind to yourself you only different not broken.

Are you in the uk as the timelines do not fit with the waiting list times here.