Hi
I'm exploring whether I may be autistic.
I'm a 54 year old woman who has had a LOT of emotional trauma and subsequently a LOT of therapy. Despite that I still struggle on an existential level. I've recently wondered about Autism as a cause of some of my issues.
I have spoken to my therapist and explained about my thoughts. She hasn't dismissed it. But she thinks it's going to be impossible to tell trauma from Autism.
I don't want or need a full diagnosis. I just would like a small confirmation. I'm in UK so, subject to NHS. I am considering an initial assessment via a private company (circa £100).
My concern is if I go to GP I'll get 'filtered out'.
The traits I chime with are
1 parasocial bonds
2 rich inner world/fantasy
3 monotropic/deep dives/hobbies
4 tomboy/nor jiving with girls and girly things
5 never knowing the right thing. Having to learn social cues
6 difficult in change of script/situations
7 intensity and disproportionate emotions
8 perfectionism. Dislike of open loops
9 difficulty and high cost of loads
10 stims - lip chewing
11 test scores - see below
12 dislike of social norms - illicit internal reaction
My scores
EQ 38
CAT-Q 122
RAADS-R 80 (social relatedness 41)
AQ 22
SQ 63
ASRS 9
Aspie 84(85%NT)
RSD 104 high. Anticipatory anxiety of rejection 29
ACE-Q 5
Any thoughts?