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What books/other resources have you found helpful in learning to see the world/people in shades of grey, rather than black and white?

ComputerGeek1337

First of all, I will admit to having a religious worldview (in my case a theologically conservative Christian who is well read on theology, philosophy and apologetics). Because it is objectively true, it has natural implications for the whole of life, including dealing with others who do not share my worldview. 

This has made the prospect of entering in the workplace challenging where companies vocally champion social causes such as transgender and same-sex marriage which conflict with Christian (and dare I say, also orthodox Jewish and Muslim) understandings of sexual ethics and biological sex, and get employees to disclose gender pronouns in email signatures and wear rainbow lanyards. I get that some think this is just being diplomatic and nice (or possibly also meaningless virtue signalling), but much of it has implications on free speech for the rights of others. It seems to be a choice between living with integrity OR not working at all. I find it quite uneasy in telling little white lies all in the name of convenience. 

I think it additionally doesn't help that I perceive comments made by others and their behaviour (employees, line manager, board of directors) as very absolutely assessing everything against the one true framework, and it feels morally wrong and disruptive to me to say/think anything differently, even though I wish I could correct them. 

Again it feels like a choice between affirming others unconditionally, therefore ditching my own beliefs, or holding my own beliefs, and creating as much distance from co-workers as possible. I've seen many in church who have changed their beliefs not for theological reasons, but for relational reasons similar to these  - and I certainly don't want to go down that route. Possibly these are people who never had boundaries in the first place. 

I know the generic response is to think of a radical third way, but even this feels like compromise, and it sounds nice in practice, but haven't a clue what this is supposed to look like in reality. It all sounds really abstract. Whereas neurotypicals have well developed situational awareness/cognitive flexibility,

  • ComputerGeek1337 said:
    I will admit to having a religious worldview (in my case a theologically conservative Christian who is well read on theology, philosophy and apologetics).

    Have you considered using critical thinking to assess if the rules laid down by the organisation you follow are sound?

    Which particular strand of your religion do you follow, which version of the bible holds your truths and who do you trust to have interprited the words in the bible?

    I believe a key part of Christianity is to be accepting of others so accepting the things you find offensive is actually you being a good person in the eyes of the god you chose. Remember that the bible was written by men, fallable men and it is only their interpritation of the word of your god. It is more meaningful to reach your own reasoned conclusions based on your own conversations with your god.

    You can accept others and their practices to happily co-exist with them but so long as you are not partaking in their activities then you are not compromising your beliefs.

    ComputerGeek1337 said:
    it feels morally wrong and disruptive to me to say/think anything differently, even though I wish I could correct them. 

    I find it helps to realise that what I belive to be true is true only for me. I cannot make it true for others and to correct them is arrogance on my part when it comes to belief systems and morality.