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Verbal Shutdown, scribal loss, need advice

llwygarugysglyd

HI, 25 y/o. Diagnosed late. Usually hyperverbal but we have verbal shutdowns. Just want to ask if others are the same. Usually really articulate but struggling recently :( Got AAC app to help!! But feel scared to use it. Any advice? Feel like autism gets Worse for us. Was treated bad growing up and had autism denied. EVeryone expects me to be independent and act 'normal' but realising have higher support needs than originally realised. have PA that comes 3 times a week for fibro but realised autism disables me just as much and have been masking for so long didnt realise :( how to explain to ableist family members that need more support like AAC? 

Parents

  • Adding more context now. Been a few days of no or limited words. Had Maintainence guy come today. Had to answer door on own and couldn't talk. He was very nice. Have figured out an having autistic burnout, but talk to many autistic people and they don't seem to relate to sudden support needs going up. Feel like no longer low support needs and it scary.

  • in reply to llwygarugysglyd

    Autistic burnout can make everything a lot harder -things you could do and manage before can suddenly feel out of reach.  Especially if you've been masking as you describe. 

    If your not able to talk, can you write still on paper, or is it mainly using the AAC app? We have paper and pencils handy for when my daughter meltdowns and then can't talk. It's okay to have different communication needs.

    Try and relax about it, it is something that happens and you are not broken, just autistic. When my daughter gets this way, I know she just needs understanding and time, and she can write down things that she needs in the mean time.  It tends to be worse when she's tired, so doing something to relax helps, and she will most likely start talking again about her special interests when ready.

    Maybe write a letter to your family explaining what is happening, letting them know what will and what won't help? It is difficult if you don't have their support, as it sounds like you could do with it!

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    Thank you for response

    I can type things and write on paper, problem is stringing words together. Brain leaves things out and won't give time to make full grammar good sentence. Just says whatever word easiest. I like the aac, I can type sentences or I can tap pictures depending on how I feel.

    Luckily since making this post I talked to my brother, and he is very understanding and says can unmask as much as need to around him. Very reassuring!! 

    I think I realised that I'm really scared of how world will treat me when much more visibly autistic. Can't stop making weird movements and noises and reacting to stimuli without control and need aac to communicate and I think I'm scared people will treat badly. Especially because live independently and have to interact w strangers a lot.

Reply
  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    Thank you for response

    I can type things and write on paper, problem is stringing words together. Brain leaves things out and won't give time to make full grammar good sentence. Just says whatever word easiest. I like the aac, I can type sentences or I can tap pictures depending on how I feel.

    Luckily since making this post I talked to my brother, and he is very understanding and says can unmask as much as need to around him. Very reassuring!! 

    I think I realised that I'm really scared of how world will treat me when much more visibly autistic. Can't stop making weird movements and noises and reacting to stimuli without control and need aac to communicate and I think I'm scared people will treat badly. Especially because live independently and have to interact w strangers a lot.

Children
  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    I read the comic. Feel very seen. Spent so many years being told not autistic or on very low end of the spectrum. When now I am realising I can't relate to "low support needs" autism. Not functional enough for normal life but functional enough ppl assume independence. 

    I emailed integrated autism service and I'm hoping they can offer some help to me. Feel like need to get used to idea of letting self be more visibly autistic. BC masking clearly hurting me. Thank you

  • in reply to llwygarugysglyd

    Yes, that is all very understandable, it is scary. I've only had complete situational mutism once, and it's so hard when you just can't get words out. I am so glad you have some support in your brother, it is a big thing to be able to have someone to relay on!

    Have you seen this cartoon about autism?
    the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation

    You might resonate with the bit where they talk about being seen as a little autistic but then getting overwhelmed and then it's more visable. Not everyone gets it as bad when overwhelmed, or it might show in different ways. The effects and triggers are different for everyone, it's just your brain. If you learn to understand your triggers you can do things like stimming to calm down again so you don't get too overwhelmed. Knowing your limits and being prepared can really help!