• Replies 2 replies
  • Subscribers 81 subscribers
  • Views 46 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Late diagnosis + realisation + identity

ST

Hi, 

I'm in my early 20s and I strongly suspect that I am autistic (AuDHD) . The online tests I have taken say I am, but that does not completely reassure me. I have seen a GP and I am on a waiting list but I don't feel confident that I will be able to secure a test, or afford one through a private provider. I was hoping someone might be able to offer some advice. 

It started about half a year ago. Someone who has spent a lot of time with autistic people said they strongly suspect that I have autism. Their comment didn't register immediately but once I started looking back at my experiences, the penny dropped like an anvil. The more I looked into it, the more I was shocked that the ways I experienced life were not unique to me. I never really thought about them, collectively, as a symptom of a border feature so the surveys surprisingly helped a bunch once I started researching. I had seen CAMHS for most of my teen years and had a fairly tumultuous upbringing (ended up in foster care (only child to) ) moving around a lot (I think around 12+ times now) so I didn't have the stability to clock it or to be around other people for long enough for them to ( I can't maintain relationships). CAMHS diagnosed me with depression and anxiety, which is what I believed was the source of feeling like a square on a circle, but even though I got better at managing my mental health, the strange feeling persisted (Is there a word for this?). 

I am deeply confused because I'm not sure if my experiences are a result of trauma or neurodiversity. The fact that I suspect I have both autistic and ADHD traits makes it even more confusing (+ the frustration that it took so long to register). This confusion, confusingly coming from clarity that I did not have before,  is having a bit of a frustrating and negative impact on my career and relationships. I have masked my entire life so nothing feels real and I'm second-guessing everything, I am trying to find and do things that make me more comfortable which I feel like might be isolate me , and I have lost a lot of confidence because I'm overthinking more than I used to. 

I wanted to ask what helped. Does a formal diagnosis help? How long does it take and what does it take to reframe yourself in a way that is not unhealthy? Could I be wrong about myself? How do you learn ( because functioning in a neurotypical world will require sacrifices) what to 'encourage' yourself to do? Is it all trial and error (I have a horrible feeling it might be) or are there (free) resources out there? I genuinely feel like I have been set back to 0 so I am questioning everything. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions or insights. Thank you for taking the time to read this Slight smile

Parents

  • Good morning from America, ST!

    I’m sorry to hear that the journey so far has been difficult. I have been diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, general anxiety disorder, and major depression. My experience is a bit different, though, because I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid and ASD when I was 30. So I’ve had the benefit of at least understanding that the ADHD made me stand out and I was able to be medicated for it.

    Not everyone agrees on this forum, but I believe a formal diagnosis helps. Especially for ADHD, as you can get medicated with that if you wish. When I was diagnosed with Autism, it helped me to come to terms with my past mistakes, assisted with clarifying to my family what I have, and we then were able to catch the ASD/ADHD in one of my daughters.

    On the other hand, some people feel very empty and distraught after diagnosis, especially since there’s not a ton of support from the healthcare system after getting diagnosed with ASD. I recommend getting therapy and buying the book Self-Care for Autistic People by Dr. Megan Neff. Those two things helped me after diagnosis.

    Do know, however, you don’t have to be diagnosed in order to identify as Autistic, if you want to be involved in the Autistic community.

Reply

  • Good morning from America, ST!

    I’m sorry to hear that the journey so far has been difficult. I have been diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, general anxiety disorder, and major depression. My experience is a bit different, though, because I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid and ASD when I was 30. So I’ve had the benefit of at least understanding that the ADHD made me stand out and I was able to be medicated for it.

    Not everyone agrees on this forum, but I believe a formal diagnosis helps. Especially for ADHD, as you can get medicated with that if you wish. When I was diagnosed with Autism, it helped me to come to terms with my past mistakes, assisted with clarifying to my family what I have, and we then were able to catch the ASD/ADHD in one of my daughters.

    On the other hand, some people feel very empty and distraught after diagnosis, especially since there’s not a ton of support from the healthcare system after getting diagnosed with ASD. I recommend getting therapy and buying the book Self-Care for Autistic People by Dr. Megan Neff. Those two things helped me after diagnosis.

    Do know, however, you don’t have to be diagnosed in order to identify as Autistic, if you want to be involved in the Autistic community.

Children
No Data