I’m the dad of three children, my eldest and youngest (Matthew, Sofia) both are autistic. Sofia is verbal and Matthew is non-verbal, he doesn’t speak ever and has always conversed via pen and paper or on WhatsApp. He’s 29 just. I don’t know a lot about autism, I’m not an expert and by no means do I get it right all the time but I try to understand it and do my best by my children.
Currently I am having issues with Matthew. It was just his 29th birthday and as always he would show his mum and I his birthday cards, he always gets excited over the cards because of the different designs. He especially loves 3D ones. Anyway the other day I went into his room to look for cups (he forgets to bring his cups down) and I saw a card in his bedroom on the windowsill.
It didn’t look familiar and I assumed it was one he forgot to show me and when I read it it was signed from his sister Rebecca. Rebecca died 10 years ago in a traffic accident and at the time, Matthew took it very well, his mum and I were always there for him then and now but he seemed unaffected or just didn’t know how to show it. The card was written in his handwriting and now I’m not sure what to do.
He’s good in himself, very happy and mostly playing with toys or reading, but looking in the loft at his past cards I can see now he’s been writing birthday and Christmas cards to himself from his sister every year. Matthew and Bex were very close and I think doing this to him keeps her alive in his memory. I’m just guessing that’s why he’s been doing this.
So now I really don’t know what to do. I’m guessing this is a way of grieving for him. But do I talk to him about it? I don’t know if I should in case it upsets Matthew and he gets overwhelmed. Bit unsure on where to go from here.
Yaffle.
