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Journey of learning the body language, cues, etc.

Alien0n3arth

This is a very important part of learning to fit in. Till today I struggle with jokes, I don't recognise that someone was arrogant (I only know it from someone else, although I was also a witness of the situation in question) I had many instances of not noticing that someone feels bad, low, sad, angry etc. It happens aldo that people joke first, which I often get informed about (,it's visible in my face, that I don't get the situation) but then tge joking turns into argument.  And if I get it- it's with delay.

Here is my journey since my childhood in pictures. As a 7-8 year old kid I used to stare people (only uf they didn't look back) and anslyse their facial features. I was told i had to look at them. So i did. I didn't notice their expressions or I did but got annoyed by them moving the muscles of their faces because I couldn't analyse their facial features. 

I hated seing myself on that video. I thought I saw a slightly disabled child (myself). I thought I was ugly, but then after careful analysis of my face, I decided that im not ugly, not beautiful either,  but there was something wrong with my face,smile etc. I started practicing in front of a mirror.

Although I put a lot of effort without even knowing, why it's exactly me who has to put extra efforts (I always found it unjust) I still need additional explanation to the situation. To make sure I know, that someone is joking for example. Sometimes I figure out by myself through logical analysis if something is an absurd and there is no way, that it could be serious.

Does it resonate with anyone else? What were your stories? If anyone wants to share.

  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    I think being a comedian was a self defence mechanism, but it's a habit thats stuck, I've been asked why I phrase things a certain way and always come back to Roger Rabbit, 'because it wouldn't be funny'.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman
    TheCatWoman said:
    Oddly ehough though, other people find me to be quite funny

    Yes, I also heard it many times. They find me funny when I'm serious. I usually am.

  • I guess it's sort of ironic that as a youngster people would always come to me with their problems, apparently I was a good listener, I later went on to become a counsellor, using I think the same listening skills, but I feel that being ND was a benefit, I didn't and still don't look at my species with what I guess you'd call an insiders eye, but with an outsiders one. I think it's because I didn't and don't understand the mind games so many play, but can see them happening and know it's a game, gives me a different perspective on changes clients needed to make, or in reassuring them that they were OK.

    I think I've always been a bit of a human nerd, my internal David Attenborough is always switched on and commenting on te behaviours I see around me. I know I am human, but I don't feel like a part of my cultural human society, I just watch it and sometimes engage with it. I still make massive mistakes though and it's made me very wary of social intereaction, I can see games being played around others and by others, but often not so much when they involve me.

    I don't get a lot of what people call humour either, some humour is so predictable by the time it gets to the punchline I'm already bored. I don't like cringey humiliation based humour, like Miranda and theres loads of stuff I just don't get at all, it's either way beyond my experience or just dosen't seem funny. Oddly ehough though, other people find me to be quite funny.