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New Year's resolution backfire

JAX43

My new years resolution is to stop masking and just say what i'm thinking and feeling - well it's been one day and after trying to navigate a conversation that i was avoiding about mould in the bathroom i've landed myself in the midst of a backlash about how i'm trying to cause trouble and that i'm selfish etc etc....... no wonder we mask, i think not doing it is safer! Anyone relate?

Parents

  • I don't like it either and no, it's no wonder that we mask, my biggest query is why people prefer us masked, when basically we're being inauthentic and maybe lying to keep the peace and then when we say what we really think all hell breaks loose.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I think neurotypicals often mask and people-please to keep the peace, so they’re not always sure how to respond to difference. Things get complicated when neurotypicals try to tell the truth, because lying or masking is often their default. It can be jarring for them to see a neurodivergent person simply being themselves. Sometimes they even wonder, “Why can neurodivergent people be authentic while we get shamed for being who we are?”

    Thanks for your message. This is a topic I find really interesting and worth discussing.

  • in reply to soboiceland

    In British society, many neurotypical people are conditioned to respond “I’m fine, thanks. And you?” when asked “How are you?” They often know they’re not fine, and the listener usually knows it too, but discussing it openly isn’t considered psychologically safe. When someone does genuinely share how they’re feeling, they are often looked down on, and many people struggle to respond appropriately.

    This is one reason why suicides, particularly among men occur. Culture plays a role. I have seen messages in this forum that are intense and distressing, especially around death and self-harm, and I try not to get involved because I haven’t been conditioned on how to respond.

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  • in reply to soboiceland

    In British society, many neurotypical people are conditioned to respond “I’m fine, thanks. And you?” when asked “How are you?” They often know they’re not fine, and the listener usually knows it too, but discussing it openly isn’t considered psychologically safe. When someone does genuinely share how they’re feeling, they are often looked down on, and many people struggle to respond appropriately.

    This is one reason why suicides, particularly among men occur. Culture plays a role. I have seen messages in this forum that are intense and distressing, especially around death and self-harm, and I try not to get involved because I haven’t been conditioned on how to respond.

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