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Shutdown and don’t know how to handle it

Ma.ra.

Dear All, I got into a long shutdown, it has been 4 days. I don’t know how to get out of it. Before my autism diagnose I thought it is a cold I catched or some strange virus. I blame myself, I invited on last Sunday 3 good friends, we ate lunch and talked, they stayed 9 hours but it felt right and I felt less alone and then here I am with major shutdown, I lie in bed and I can’t do anything. Maybe it was to big sensory-wise although the lights were dim and we listened to the same 5 songs cause otherwise I wanna cover my ears. Please help me out with some kind words and suggestions. I wanted to be clever about my new knowledge and here we go, shutdownDisappointed

Parents

  • Dear Ma.ra.,

    Well done for reaching out to the online community, I hope this space helps you feel connected and relaxed during shutdown.

    I am really sorry to hear that you have been going through shutdown after socialising. It can take different lengths of times to come out of shutdown but 4 days sounds like a lot to deal with. It is important to know that you are not to blame for going into shutdown, you wanted to have a good time and see your friends- I am happy to hear that seeing them helped you feel less alone. Shutdown can be brought on by so many factors- and its good that you have identified that it may have also been caused by sensory issues. 

    It may be worth taking a look at Autistic fatigue and burnout as they have some helpful tips that could also help with shutdown - I have copied and pasted some key information below as I know shutdown can make it difficult to exploring too deeply:

    What can I do if I’m experiencing autistic fatigue and burnout? 

    Use energy accounting 

    Energy accounting is a system used to set manageable limits on your energy levels so you do not deplete yourself to the point of burnout.  

    You can set a limit on how much energy you have in a day or week and estimate how much certain activities drain you. Also you can work out how much certain activities energise you.  

    You can then try to plan and balance your activities and energy over your day or week to try and manage your stress limits. Make sure you build in time to relax and recover.  

    Time off and rest/relaxation 

    Whether you use energy accounting or not, time off from work or school and other high-stress activities is key to managing stress levels. Ensuring time for activities/interests that re-energise and promote relaxation for you is key. This could be connecting with family and friends or enjoying hobbies or interests.  

    At work 

    It can be helpful to think about some of the following ways to help manage stress levels at work: 

    • keep track of your workload and tell your manager if it is becoming unmanageable  
    • take regular breaks from work/tasks and make sure you plan and take annual leave. 

    Time without having to mask 

    Autistic people often feel the need to hide or mask their autistic traits in public, for example by suppressing the urge to stim. It can be important to factor times into your day for things like stimming, somewhere you feel comfortable and able to do so.   

    Reducing expectations 

    Sometimes the pressure to achieve, and meet expectations from employers, family or friends can feel overwhelming. If you feel there are unmanageable or unrealistic demands placed on you, it can help to discuss this and get support from the people around you.

    I hope some of this information is helpful and that you are able to have a peaceful 2026,

    Warmest wishes,

    Olivia Mod

  • in reply to Olivia Mod

    This happened to me too and I think it was mostly because I had been holding on for so long that I felt I was finally able to release it / feel it and find the right answers. Hopefully this will mean I will come back out of it better and stronger and the same for you too 

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