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Ability to mask is going away.

Seaprune

Hello everyone,

After masking and surpressing every day for 40+ years, i am finding I am no longer able to maintain it, causing tics, stimming, etc.. the tics are putting up an epic battle for supremacy, Ive found myself rocking while shopping, feeling emotional when someone dropped their sweets and urges to touch textures outside..

I'm assuming I have finally burnt out?

Are the tics and stims now a permanent upgrade feature?

What other interesting developments can I expect?

I am greatful for any insight you can give, and yes, I agree, that level of masking and suppression, was not a healthy option. 

Wm.

Parents

  • As you get older you are less resilient than when young and you have more life pressures.

    The tics and stims are your body's way of trying to regulate the pressure.

    If you reduce the load, less masking, more alone time, breathing exercises, making sure you relax and sleep it may reduce.

    If you keep pushing it will likely become harder to function, your emotions will get harder to control, thinking will become more dysfunctional, it can become hard to speak, you will see criticisms and suggestions as threats and find it harder to do everyday things. You may end up needing to sleep more. The further into you get the longer it may take to get back out.

    It is warning you at the moment, so try to give yourself some space. You don't want it to get too bad.

    Reducing masking and suppression may be enough. It depends on how much other stress you have.

    To calm your nervous system so it is not so sensitive requires backing off,  you can then ramp it back up a bit later but not quite as high. Christmas time is a bit of a challenge.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    Thank you for insight and the advice.

    I had already decided that going forward, I will try living without masking or suppressing, I'm just waiting for the muscle memory to wear off and allow it.

    I'm just unsure how messy its going to be. 

  • in reply to Seaprune

    I found that my ability to mask broke too, it was when I started to relax after diagnosis and just let myself be truely authentically me, I did shut myself away from a lot of people, but I feel so much better for it. Now I've hung the masks up in a mental wardrobe and take one out when I need it and put it back again when I've finishe.. I've always seen masks as an overcoat, something I cloak myself in, I suppose a bit like the childrens tv character Mr Ben, when I step back into the shop the cloak is returned and I go back to "normal".

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Thank you.

    The idea of a cloak sounds much better than the suit of armour ive been using. I'm looking forward to throwing that out and trying somthing a lot lighter.

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