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What “counts” as a special interest?

Inah

I am newly diagnosed with autism. I still struggle with identifying what “counts” as a special interest and I am still trying to find out for myself what it is. Like I understand the passion aspect of it, but I am not sure how long you need to have it so it counts (I am using “counts” even though I am sure there is no official measurement or judge obviously), if anything can be a special interest (I read somewhere that someone’s special interest was breast feeding which made me question my initial assumptions about what special interests are), as well as whether you need to be an “expert”. I hear the last part over and over, even in the post-diagnostic psycho education, and it put me off really. Like, I like learning about space but could in no way explain things to others!! I kinda hate this even because it puts one under some pressure to excel in something you might “just” like doing (perhaps it’s just me!).

Also, does being obsessed with working out what is “wrong” with me for basically the last 20 years of my life count as a special interest? Might sound odd and ego centric but really wondering that :) 

Equally I have been hooked by the idea of living in England since secondary school (I am not an English native person) and for the last 10 to 15 years have done everything to be able to do so (including deep diving into improving my English - even dating some English speakers and I am currently in a long term relationship with one*, studying, living and working in the UK) and the thought of going back to my country of birth is a devastating thought, among others because of the loss of daily exposure to English. Does this make “being in an English speaking environment” a special interest?

*just to be clear, I obviously love my partner and am not just together with them because they are an English speaking native, but I think I did consciously narrow the pool of possible partners to English speaking natives at the time and would find it difficult to broaden it again, especially to people who speak my mother tongue

Parents

  • For me Russian was my special intrest for around 10 years, I took a high place in Olympic competition in the capital of my country of birth *not UK, English is not my first language either. My intrest was so intense, that I spent any minute of my free time to study it, the grammar, the vocabulary,  spelling, I was fully in love with the language,  country and culture. While pacing my room I also repeated words or imagined that I talked Russian to my imagined friends. I used to listen only to Russian music, watch only Russian movies or movies in Russian (there are many nations, that use Russian as their first or second official language) menu in my phone must have been in Russian, so I left it to the service point to install the menu language package with Russian. If it was impossible and i had to use the phone in my first language,  I was sick for weeks and months, couldn't eat and sleep, couldn't calm down till the menu of the phone was in my beloved language. I became so good at Russian that russian-speaking people didn't recognise I'm not one of them.  Just an example of my special interest. Earlier were trams and floor plans. Now I have aliens and space. It can be anything it's not about topic but intensity.

  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    That’s really interesting! I still hate it when my browser switches to my mother tongue by accident, so I think I can understand that. I also love floor plans! As a kid I was obsessed with drawing them, and now I just love looking at them, they are so satisfying!

    Yeah I think my interests may vary in intensity,  some of them are just nice to haves, others feel a bit more fundamental (like English/ being in an English speaking environment/ figuring out what’s going on with me), and because I didn’t recognize the latter as a special interest, I doubt I had any at all! 

    As the assessor asked I said mermaids, swimming and space, but mermaids are fascinating but not all encompassing, and space and swimming are constants but possibly not so identity forming, or perhaps not yet, not sure. That’s where it’s still murky for me, like how intense is “intense” enough? If you turn to it occasionally? I binge watched swimming videos and went twice a week, now I can’t because of some medical issue and it’s upsetting and I cannot watch any videos anymore (because it’s too upsetting), but I feel I can still cope somehow (perhaps because I know there is an end to my medical treatment).

  • in reply to Inah

    I used to draw floor plans as I was 8-9, they looked pretty professional with thicker and thiner walls, doors (in which direction they open) windows, all rooms, pipe scheme, electric installation scheme, furniture, all in colors and on the reverse full address with postal code and name of the owner. I had a full file with them and tram line schemes. Unfortunately majority of my pictures are thrown away long time ago, because I was told many times that my obsessive interests are sick and bad so I believed that im inferior to others and everything that I do and what belonged to me was wrong, so it had to be destroyed. Now I cry and miss my old pictures but they are gone. I also used to drive bicycle around the area and imagined that it's my tram and I was the driver.

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  • in reply to Inah

    I used to draw floor plans as I was 8-9, they looked pretty professional with thicker and thiner walls, doors (in which direction they open) windows, all rooms, pipe scheme, electric installation scheme, furniture, all in colors and on the reverse full address with postal code and name of the owner. I had a full file with them and tram line schemes. Unfortunately majority of my pictures are thrown away long time ago, because I was told many times that my obsessive interests are sick and bad so I believed that im inferior to others and everything that I do and what belonged to me was wrong, so it had to be destroyed. Now I cry and miss my old pictures but they are gone. I also used to drive bicycle around the area and imagined that it's my tram and I was the driver.

Children
  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    I am sorry to hear this! I hope you know now that you aren’t sick or wrong and it’s a shame that these pictures are gone for good because they sound really cool (way more professional than I ever drew them!). 

    I used my bike too and pretended it’s my car. I loved to play detective as I was little and I needed my “car” to get around to solve the mysteries in my neighbourhood.