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Intro and book recommendations

Rooster001

Hi everyone, this is my first post here.

I’m looking for book recommendations that could help me understand and support my autistic family members better. Both of my parents are autistic, and my sister is too, and I’m trying to learn healthier ways of communicating and navigating some of the challenges that come up in our relationships.

I’m also starting to wonder whether I might be on the spectrum myself. I relate to a lot of traits and experiences I’ve been reading about, so I’d love any book suggestions that could help me explore that possibility in a grounded, informed way.

If you know any books—whether practical guides, personal accounts, or science‑based explanations—that you’ve found genuinely helpful, I’d really appreciate your recommendations.

Thanks for having me here. 

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    The book I found most useful in terms of understanding the difference between autistic and non autistic people is "A field guide to earthlings - an autistic/asperger view of neurotypical behaviour" by Ian Ford. It is a bit technical in parts, but I found it really intriguing.


  • If you are a woman I can recommend this book which features accounts by autistic women and comments on the accounts by professionals in the field. 

    Another book that I found validating some months after diagnosis is this one, also from Jessica Kingsley Press. The site is useful because they publish many books on autism, ADHD etc.

    https://uk.jkp.com/products/the-female-profile-of-autism?_pos=1&_psq=the+female&_ss=e&_v=1.0

  • I can recomend Gina Rippon's books, The Gendered Brain and The Lost Girls of Autism, they're both more at the scientific end rather than personal experience ones. But I think that The Lost Girls of Autism, gives a much better understanding of how autism differs in some women and some men too.

  • Rooster001 said:
    I’m looking for book recommendations that could help me understand and support my autistic family members better

    I would start with a book that is easy to access and you can dip in and out as you pick up knowledge:

    Autism For Dummies (2025) - ISBN 9781394301003 (paberback); ISBN 9781394301027 (ebook)

    There are other books focussed on specific members like chidren, partners etc

    Loving someone with Asperger's syndrome_ understanding & connecting with your partner - Ariel, Cindy N (2012)
    ISBN 9781608820771

    The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome - Maxine Aston (2013)
    ISBN 9781849054980

    Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Understanding Life Experiences from Early Childhood to Old Age - Sarah Hendrickx, Judith Gould (2015)
    ISBN 9781849055475

    Families of Adults With Autism_ Stories and Advice for the Next Generation- Jane Johnson & Anne Van Rensselarer - 2008

    There are literally hundreds of books on the subject of autism and many of specific aspects but the above is a good starting point.

    Note that Aspergers Syndrome was the name used for "high functioning autism" up until 2013.

  • If you want to get a feeling for whether you may be, try some of the questionaires.

    The AQ-50, with 50 questions, us the main autism one. If you score low, 15 or so is typical I think, then you aren't. It is good at screening people out. If you score over 30 then it is possible. Only formal assessment can confirm it. There are other tests too, with various predictive accuracies.

    Note you have to be negatively impacted to be diagnosed. If you in a supportive environment you may not have too many challenges. So you could have lots of traits and not be formally diagnosed.

    The easiest single site for them is embrace-autism.com

    Everyone is different although there are lots of overlaps. I got most of the info from reading websites and watching autistic YouTube channels. Looking at suggested accommodations also gave an idea of what some of the real world challenges are, like not liking getting wet, sleep problems, digestive issues, trouble with noisy places and crowds, rumination, burnout, etc.

  • Good morning Rooster001!

    I’ll have to think about whether I have a good suggestion about books, since a lot of the books I’ve read were written specifically with Autistic readers in mind. My go-to book to recommend is a self-care book, which helps with Autistic individuals to communicate with others, but I’m not sure if it could help with the opposite? Oh well, it’s “Self-Care for Autistic People” by Dr. Megan Neff. It’s a really easy read. At the very least, it can help you to understand what your family needs in order to function socially, professionally, and etc.

    Rooster001 said:
    I’m also starting to wonder whether I might be on the spectrum myself.

    Interesting! It is definitely a possibility since so many of your family members are. One thing I’ve read though is that oftentimes neurotypical family members “adopt” an Autistic lifestyle to better accommodate their ND family. Ex. you might avoid loud environments because you are used to avoiding them for your parents’ sake. However, if you find yourself relating more and more to neurodiversity, then it might be something worth digging deeper into. I’m always a big fan of understanding yourself more.