I’m married, and my husband of 30+ years has recently been diagnosed with ADHD and Autism and I am struggling with the level of masking and how I now feel that I don’t know my husband or if he ever loved me. I’m sorry if this sounds negative but I am findi

I've been married 15 years and 22 years together and we've only just found out I'm autistic, along with the kids. 

For me, one of the reasons I've made it this far without knowing is because I've always been with him. He's helped through all the things I can't do, not understanding why but eventually just accepted my quirks and helping me -like he's normally the 'public facing' half of us who deals with most of the trades people and even the teachers. 

He doesn't always get it when I'm sitting in a room in the dark for a few hours and can get annoyed, but he knows now that quite often a hug with no words is the best way to bring me back to myself.

I'm very grateful to all he's done, and I don't feel disabled by it most of the time with him around.

I've been married 15 years and 22 years together and we've only just found out I'm autistic, along with the kids. 

For me, one of the reasons I've made it this far without knowing is because I've always been with him. He's helped through all the things I can't do, not understanding why but eventually just accepted my quirks and helping me -like he's normally the 'public facing' half of us who deals with most of the trades people and even the teachers. 

He doesn't always get it when I'm sitting in a room in the dark for a few hours and can get annoyed, but he knows now that quite often a hug with no words is the best way to bring me back to myself.

I'm very grateful to all he's done, and I don't feel disabled by it most of the time with him around.

Thank you for your words and point of view which does help ( if I’m honest I wrote a reply 3 times and each time deleated it because it sounded so hurtful) I feel more alone than ever, whilst my husband is supported