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help please

topact1066

Hi after help please

Background my parter has asd , i guess she is what the call a high performing autistic as she can normally work a job
we have been  together for 10 years 
since being diagnosed 2 years  ago the negative stressful parts of asd [shut down/melt down/anxiety/stress] just keep multiplying up. and currently are at least 10 time worse then 2 years ago. She has just had to give up her job.
I do not care about the job as such, just her well being and happiness. But it’s got to the point that nothing helps her any more.

My thoughts are

  1. Asd can be tough – that’s fine we did great at that for at least 6/7 years
  2. Asd burn out has occurred making it all worse – this is super duper tough and I have read no good advice on recovering from this once you read a book or article you end with well its tough and takes time ,6 months / 1 year etc … I really do not call that help
  3. I read today about asd regression and being much worse after diagnosis. Not sure if this is affecting her, or if this is actually a real thing or not ?

Questions [ please give me your thoughts on the below ]

  1. she gets so down in between meltdowns. I am wondering if anti depressants would help to reduce that feeling of worthlessness. I am not looking at them to fix asd i fully understand that is  not a thing. But just to reduce the edge of the depression cycle asd is causing her and hopefull give her a bit more positive up times 
  2. therapy -  we need help but i am untrusting of therpy because every therapist has a unit in there course on  asd that does not mean a lot. And if we do go this route it would need to be therapist with a successful track record of heling adults with asd but i do not know how to assess  that. This may help but  if done wrong could be a major negative.
  3. During her period her melts downs & shut downs [ all ready super high] and general anxiety multiply by at least 10 fold leaving both of us totally exhausted. Has anyone else had this issue and if yes how did they deal with it 
Parents

  • Note that I am uncertain if I’ve ever had a burnout (I’ve definitely have had major depressive episodes that have lasted months) and I’m just now starting to read up more on the burnout phenomena, but I can approach your questions more from a depression/anxiety/ASD angle:

    1) We can’t give medical advice on here, so I won’t say anti-depressants ARE the answer to your problem. Nor can we discuss which medications would work best. However, I think I can safely say that anti-depressants could potentially help with depression and is definitely worth talking to a GP about. One thing to note is that you’ll unlikely see results right away, but over time it could ease those times of worthlessness.

    2) I often recommend therapy on here, especially trying to find one that is ASD friendly, but in this case I think a marriage counselor could be a good fit as well. The main reason is to work on communication and expectations you have for each other in the relationship in a safe environment. As for HOW to find a good, ASD friendly therapist or counselor, it takes trial and error, unfortunately. Oftentimes those that advertise that they have experience with ASD only have experience with children that have ASD. However, one of the best therapists I ever had was an art therapist who had more experience with children, but she was willing to learn more about adults with Autism along with me and I got a LOT our of those sessions.

    3) If anxiety is an issue, then anti-anxiety medication could be another thing to discuss with a GP. I know my meds revolve around being good for both anxiety and depression, so a doctor could look for the right medication track to cover both problems.

    I hope that’s helpful. Again, I don’t have much experience with burnout specifically, but if you have any questions about depression/anxiety, I might be able to assist.

Reply

  • Note that I am uncertain if I’ve ever had a burnout (I’ve definitely have had major depressive episodes that have lasted months) and I’m just now starting to read up more on the burnout phenomena, but I can approach your questions more from a depression/anxiety/ASD angle:

    1) We can’t give medical advice on here, so I won’t say anti-depressants ARE the answer to your problem. Nor can we discuss which medications would work best. However, I think I can safely say that anti-depressants could potentially help with depression and is definitely worth talking to a GP about. One thing to note is that you’ll unlikely see results right away, but over time it could ease those times of worthlessness.

    2) I often recommend therapy on here, especially trying to find one that is ASD friendly, but in this case I think a marriage counselor could be a good fit as well. The main reason is to work on communication and expectations you have for each other in the relationship in a safe environment. As for HOW to find a good, ASD friendly therapist or counselor, it takes trial and error, unfortunately. Oftentimes those that advertise that they have experience with ASD only have experience with children that have ASD. However, one of the best therapists I ever had was an art therapist who had more experience with children, but she was willing to learn more about adults with Autism along with me and I got a LOT our of those sessions.

    3) If anxiety is an issue, then anti-anxiety medication could be another thing to discuss with a GP. I know my meds revolve around being good for both anxiety and depression, so a doctor could look for the right medication track to cover both problems.

    I hope that’s helpful. Again, I don’t have much experience with burnout specifically, but if you have any questions about depression/anxiety, I might be able to assist.

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