Hello I'm 21, recently self diagnosed. I've been going through progressively bad burnout for about 6 years now (covid did a number on a lot of us didn't it lol), but last year was absolute hell. I basically regressed back to a childlike state. i felt like i lost control of my brain, i was smiling at everything, overly friendly with everyone, was super emotional and reactive and i was operating automatically. I was saying and doing things that dont reflect me, my values or my beliefs at all. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me. I'd go back to my room at the end of the day and feel incredibly shameful, humiliated and stupid.
from what i understand now, it was a protective state my nervous system went into for survival. it basically shut down my usual executive control and pushed me into a simplified, people-pleasing, high-emotion state to reduce perceived threat and conserve resources.
I feel incredibly misunderstood by everyone around me, especially the people closest to me during this last year, especially my boyfriend.
has anyone gone through this exact thing? how has recovery been going for you? sometimes despite knowing and understanding otherwise and despite not being in that state nearly as much as before, i feel like i split into 2 different personalities.