Too much

I'm sorry for a negative post but I just feel like I need to off load a bit. Feeling a bit down and overwhelmed today.

I went for an appointment this morning. I felt quite heightened and was finding the waiting room a bit much as it was quite busy. Got called through for the preliminary part of my appointment. They took me to a different room than usual which threw me off a little. Went back to the waiting room. Then got called again. Was a bit confused as it was the same person. My confusion was right as he then told me my appointment has been cancelled (20 minutes after it was supposed to have started). The person had called in sick - I know this can't be helped but surely they should have this information before appointments are due to start. There was then a big conversation between this guy and the receptionist about rebooking the appointment whilst I'm just stood there. Eventually she said that they would let me know so I don't even have a solid solution. I left trying not to cry. I know these things are a part of life but I find it so difficult.

Not helped by a difficult week. Found out I'd been getting some social stuff wrong at work for a while but I hadn't been told so I didn't know there was an issue. I got quite upset about it which they did seem understanding about but as we were stopping for Christmas, it can't be dealt with until January and I'm now stuck in a loop going round and round about it. I obviously don't want to have a negative impact on others but I'm also not doing that intentionally so I'm worried about how it is going to be resolved.

I'm also worried about Christmas. It's going to be different this year and a lot more people. Neither of these are things I do well with. I really need to get everything sorted but I'm struggling with the motivation.

I think my mood has been quite low recently which isn't helping any of these things. It's put me in a bit of a slump that I'm struggling to get out of. Right now I'm just having a bit of a "I really hate autism" moment.

Parents
  • Hey that appointment-incident sounds really ***! It’s exactly the kind of incident that throws me completely off. 

    I am in the same boat as you with hating the autism at the moment, had a situation the last weeks where I ordered medications for pick-up and the pharmacy never processed my order. So a week goes by, I am completely out of ADHD-meds and the order just doesn’t get processed. Asking the pharmacy chain per chat what the hell is going on, but the can‘t help me, saying: „you have to contact your local pharmacy and ask them directly“, hell to the no - I would rather eat glass. Then I asked if i can cancel the order instead so I can just go to another pharmacy and pick it up, but still „you have to contact the local pharmacy and ask them directly“. Toal meltdown follows and several days with sky high stress, and feeling small, dumb and weak. I think I still didn’t fully recover from the whole situation. 

    Anyway just wanted to say that I feel you, and I know it sucks so bad!

  • Just reminders of how inaccessible the world can be for us isn't it. It really does seem like things are against us sometimes. 

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