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Too much

Expecto_Patronum

I'm sorry for a negative post but I just feel like I need to off load a bit. Feeling a bit down and overwhelmed today.

I went for an appointment this morning. I felt quite heightened and was finding the waiting room a bit much as it was quite busy. Got called through for the preliminary part of my appointment. They took me to a different room than usual which threw me off a little. Went back to the waiting room. Then got called again. Was a bit confused as it was the same person. My confusion was right as he then told me my appointment has been cancelled (20 minutes after it was supposed to have started). The person had called in sick - I know this can't be helped but surely they should have this information before appointments are due to start. There was then a big conversation between this guy and the receptionist about rebooking the appointment whilst I'm just stood there. Eventually she said that they would let me know so I don't even have a solid solution. I left trying not to cry. I know these things are a part of life but I find it so difficult.

Not helped by a difficult week. Found out I'd been getting some social stuff wrong at work for a while but I hadn't been told so I didn't know there was an issue. I got quite upset about it which they did seem understanding about but as we were stopping for Christmas, it can't be dealt with until January and I'm now stuck in a loop going round and round about it. I obviously don't want to have a negative impact on others but I'm also not doing that intentionally so I'm worried about how it is going to be resolved.

I'm also worried about Christmas. It's going to be different this year and a lot more people. Neither of these are things I do well with. I really need to get everything sorted but I'm struggling with the motivation.

I think my mood has been quite low recently which isn't helping any of these things. It's put me in a bit of a slump that I'm struggling to get out of. Right now I'm just having a bit of a "I really hate autism" moment.

Parents

  • I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so wretched, the cancelled appt seems to have been really confusing, I'm guessing it was an early morning one? The work thing, I can understand why thats going round in your mind, it would mine too, can you tell yourself that theres nothing you can do about it right now and it can wait and you don;t have to think about it?

    A big xmas can be really good, but it can also be really overwhelming, can you ask whoever's hosting is theres a quiet space you can go to for a few minutes when you feel overwhelmed? I'm really looking forward to having a big family xmas with a table full of people, but I was also relieved when I heard they'll all be gone on the 27th. It's really weird, I wanted this, I organised it all, I've done loads of prep and cooking for it and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed already.

Reply

  • I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so wretched, the cancelled appt seems to have been really confusing, I'm guessing it was an early morning one? The work thing, I can understand why thats going round in your mind, it would mine too, can you tell yourself that theres nothing you can do about it right now and it can wait and you don;t have to think about it?

    A big xmas can be really good, but it can also be really overwhelming, can you ask whoever's hosting is theres a quiet space you can go to for a few minutes when you feel overwhelmed? I'm really looking forward to having a big family xmas with a table full of people, but I was also relieved when I heard they'll all be gone on the 27th. It's really weird, I wanted this, I organised it all, I've done loads of prep and cooking for it and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed already.

Children
  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    It was 9am. It seemed the receptionists were not told of the absence until after this time. I would have thought their policy would involve staff calling in sickness much earlier than this so it seems a little poor to me.

    I'm trying to tell myself there's nothing I can do and that there will be support to sort it out but my brain keeps circling back and I tend to default to worst case scenario. I'm hoping that although I'm anxious about Christmas, it will be a distraction and hopefully break the loop at least temporarily. Although on the flip side of that, I really struggle with New Year

    My difficulty with the big Christmas is that there will be quite a few people that I do not know very well and a couple that I do not know at all. This is uncomfortable for me. It's also not the same person hosting Christmas as usual so I don't know what order things will happen in etc. I may be able to retreat a little when overwhelmed but I know my mum will interpret this as rude. She doesn't really understand.