Vent incoming ….. I feel I’m really struggling at the moment in a number of areas. Work and struggling to feel understood and in relationship with wife too. Even my son, he winds me up and irritates me despite being only little. I can’t seem to cope and process all of the information (crying, noise, mess) and when I’m at burnout stage I feel like a bad parent and depend on my wife to do the heavy lifting. Then worry she thinks I’m not good enough to cope. But the reality, I’m not … at times. I struggle to make sense of this in my head and be kinder to myself so that I can focus on being a good parent. It doesn’t help that he also is a terrible sleeper and as a result we both operate in zero sleep most nights - it amplifies everything I feel but my wife coasts through it and doesn’t appear to be impacted. This makes me feel even worse as … why can’t I be like this? I don’t want to fast forward my son’s easy years …. But my god …. It’s bloody tough.
They both went on holiday without me earlier this year (I don’t like flying) and I’ve never felt so calm, balanced and grounded. It was bliss. Then they come back and the stress slowly builds again. I need to find a way to balance the two but always feel on edge and in reactive mode.
