I was diagnosed 2 years ago at the age of 34 which was emotional. I looked back through my whole life and suddenly everything made sense, the outbursts, choices I’d made and the lack of friends. I had an explanation for myself but no way of changing things.
Somehow I managed in my adult years to make a few friends but slowly but surely they got bored, tired and turned their back on me. They have a gaslighting me, when I would get upset that I had been left out of a gathering they would say it was because I have ASD that I’m acting that way. Family pointed out that anyone would be upset and reassured me my feelings were natural. I didn’t walk away from how poorly they were treating me instead I begged for answers, cried and put myself down because it must be something wrong with me, right? Well I’ve come to the conclusion that they don’t understand me, I need to find people who get it. I’ve never been good at making friends I assume people won’t like me, once I’ve got friends apparently I’m too much or too emotional and can’t let things go, silly things.
All the over stimulation, over thinking traps that come with ASD that I push down and mask to fit in with all the people I’m trying to be friends with, I’m done. If your like me and struggling in a world that claims neurodivergent don’t have to fit into neurotypical box yet everyday I’m expected to smile and say good morning when I don’t want to lol, and are finding it hard to make friends your my kind of person I feel your pain and have done all my life. Let’s talk
