How can I tell my family I'm autistic at 21 without imploding or make them "guilty"

NAS have a good article covering this subject:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/after-diagnosis/emotional-support-for-family-members-after-a-diagn

A good starting point would be - what do you expect their reaction will be?.

Is there a stigma to mental health in the family or do they have an approach to ridicule weakness in others? If either of these are true then I would avoid telling them at all.

If they are welcoming of peoples disabilities and accepting of others different to themselves then I would start with the person you are closest to and tell them and ask for their advice on whether to tell the others.

Drop it into a conversation like "what did you do last week?" - wait for them to finish and then say "I had an assessment for autism and it turns out I am autistic" (word it in a way that feels natural to you).

If they are interested then they will ask questions and try to understand more, but if they change the subject then realise they probably don't want to know and it may be best not to talk about it again.

There is often a need to be seen after a diagnosis but be prepared if people don't want to look - it is best to respect their wishes for the sake of an onging relationship with them.

Hopefully they will be positive, inquisitive and supporting but if not, they don't want to talk about it so it is best to respect their decisions and find someone else who is interested in talking about it - a friend or even get a therapist who can help you develop coping techniques for the traits that cause you issues.

These are just my thoughts on the matter - good luck with whatever you choose to do.

NAS have a good article covering this subject:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/after-diagnosis/emotional-support-for-family-members-after-a-diagn

A good starting point would be - what do you expect their reaction will be?.

Is there a stigma to mental health in the family or do they have an approach to ridicule weakness in others? If either of these are true then I would avoid telling them at all.

If they are welcoming of peoples disabilities and accepting of others different to themselves then I would start with the person you are closest to and tell them and ask for their advice on whether to tell the others.

Drop it into a conversation like "what did you do last week?" - wait for them to finish and then say "I had an assessment for autism and it turns out I am autistic" (word it in a way that feels natural to you).

If they are interested then they will ask questions and try to understand more, but if they change the subject then realise they probably don't want to know and it may be best not to talk about it again.

There is often a need to be seen after a diagnosis but be prepared if people don't want to look - it is best to respect their wishes for the sake of an onging relationship with them.

Hopefully they will be positive, inquisitive and supporting but if not, they don't want to talk about it so it is best to respect their decisions and find someone else who is interested in talking about it - a friend or even get a therapist who can help you develop coping techniques for the traits that cause you issues.

These are just my thoughts on the matter - good luck with whatever you choose to do.