Struggling at work as a autistic person

on the back of this…. Being treated equally as badly as everybody else is also not quite ok… if they discriminate against you targetedly you should still be able to get support. I’ve been in mediocre situations multiple times with diabolical managment and ignored it because it never really affected me that much. The only time I reported a problem was when I was as specifically targeted relentlessly which is entirely different. Ive also had situations with managers who you clash with but still mutually have respect for disagreement and each others opinions and are able to work happily with - I think it’s how you handle difference of opinion…. I’m lucky at the moment I have good management probably the best I’ve ever had… it’s up to you to use your rational judgement on your situation. 

Hi Poppy,

I've worked as a care worker now for over 15 years, It's the longest job I've ever kept & I've worked in many different jobs for over 40 years, now. I started off like yourself, but found working in teams or attending face to face training, incredibly hard. I now work nights only, as I'm a loan worker, so 90% of the time I only see the people I support, which 100% suits me. 

I've done many jobs from leaving school at 15, never felt as though I could fit in, found socialising awkward. I find my current job extremely rewarding, as I work with adults with learning and health difficulties. It's also very demanding at times, too. As yourself, no doubt I can take management literally, so I also find it hard at times, but I'm treat equally as badly, as everyone else. 

Once you've found the right job for you, you'll know. Life is fully of challenges, as well I know. 

I'm not diagnosed, as yet, but I'm 100% sure I'm autistic, I've supported autistic adults now for 15 years, so I've recognised my symptoms.

I'm going down the long diagnosis path, want recognition just for myself. 

I have other health issues, too, but have always been open & honest with my current employer. I now work part time. 

Best wishes. 

Although people are judging you as having a disability - which it is - don’t forget to point out that actually you just need quiet not chaos in your environment and more switch off time when you’re overwhelmed it’s nothing to do with your intelligence. Identify your strengths in your job role too , let them know what you’re passionate about and the parts you love. One quote I heard which is a good thing to remember is “manage up” which means sometimes you need to help your manager to achieve too as they are human and don’t always know everything and hopefully this will increase a positive relationship 

I wouldn’t leave your job before trying HR because in my experience they have been a great deal of support in creating better and more positive relationships. However I know people can be afraid of HR - I think it depends on your approach and think of the best for everyone. Managers have stress too and don’t always realise what they’re doing 

It might be the point where you need to have HR involvement as talking to you like that or pre judging you’re requirements isn’t really ok… they should be able to mediate a better relationship for you. If it doesn’t change but enjoy your job you could look at moving company 

Note: sorry I miss read you’re response as you have already tried that 

I can't offer anything useful, other than to say it's familiar, caring professions seem to care the least about those who do the caring.

This could be another misconception and another prejudice - it would be up to poppy to understand what her struggles are 

Also being sent wherever you’re needed doesn’t necessarily mean that’s a problem as I do that in my role and absolutely love it - I like getting out and about - I know what I’m turning up for in advance and my job role is consistent while the place differs so that’s isn’t a problem. For me it’s big change that I struggle with 

I don’t think that’s a lot to do with being autistic from what I’ve heard about people working in care in many non autistic accounts is that management don’t treat their staff very well or take in the potential trauma risks and vulnerability of their staff in high risk roles so that’s not to say being autistic isn’t suitable for the job as actually many autistic people are incredibly caring and have a high level of empathy while also following the rules more efficiently 

Well the lack of routine doesn't bother me too much it's just really the way im treated and spoken to.

But yes I have been looking into other jobs just trying to figure out what I want to do

I have tried many meetings but not this approach 

Thanks for the advance 

Maybe try having a meeting about how you would like to be spoken to? If you’ve told them you’re autistic for some bizzare reason people seem to think they need to talk to you like a child….. one good point is to make them aware the bill gates and Elon musk (not the most favourable person) are also autistic and people don’t speak to them like a child. Talk to you normally and don’t belittle you (try to do it in a non confrontational way) maybe say something like in a meeting identifying it happening to you in a non work capacity externally and they might sort of get the hint maybe  because non autistic people dont really understand what its about and they might otherwise be good people obviously you can make youre own judgement of character dependent on how they treat you in other ways. Also have a look at how they treat other people around you? Are they just general bullies ? 

Hello,

I worked in a care home looking after the elderly and it was simultaneously the best and the worst job in the world. I adored the residents and caring for them, I honestly came to see some of them as surrogate grandparents but I could not see eye to eye with the managers. I have a very strong sense of what is right and wrong (justice sensitivity/black and white thinking) and in my view there was not enough staff and I felt residents lacked basic care as a result. It led to me feeling burnt out, taking sick leave with stress and anxiety and ultimately being spoken down to and singled out by management, being told I need to try and fit in with the team. I wasn't diagnosed at this point, the idea that I might be autistic hadn't crossed my mind.

I think that unfortunately working in care is largely incompatible with working well as an autistic person. Unsupportive management, care companies are largely concerned with profit and little else, huge lack of routine, last minute changes to staff numbers, shift patterns etc. I would never go back, especially with the clarity that diagnosis has brought me. 

I would look for a consistent working pattern, companies with a HR department, union presence, disability confident accredited and companies with access to occupational health. 

Poppy said:

I could find another job but it's hard as I don't know what to do or what will suit me. 

Hello Poppy, your job does sound like it is not well suited to your autism.

I know quite a lot of carers through my mother who has them in 4 times a day for different things and they are treated as weights on a balance, always being moved about to keep the whole system in balance by making sure the customers are looked after when staff fall sick, take leave, quit or when demand levels change.

You, unfortunately, as just a resource to them to be sent wherever you are needed. It helps to realise this is not likely to change even if you disclosed your diagnosis as can become quite unfair for the others to be the only ones having to change about to cover. In this sort of role the "reasonable accommodations" you would like are not reasonable unfortunately as flexibility is a core part of the job.

At least you know and this can be the motivator to look for something else.

How about being a dedicated carer for someone, or for a smaller number of people in a close area?

This would mean more of a routine but you would need to train someone else up to cover your leave and the days you don't work. Maybe working in a care home of some kind would work. It can get a bit depressing but will bring more stability.

Things like working in a hospital tend to be difficult because of a lack of statt means you often cannot have a regular routine and you would probably be back to how you feel now.

How about changing to another related field and training up - something like a dental assistant?

Do you have any special interests? These can sometimes suggest jobs that are much more fulfilling than the wage slave positions most of us go through.

Thank you this is super helpful. And yes as a community carer I help people in their homes

Hello Poppy!

So as a community carer you help people in their homes, am I correct? If so, there are other jobs out there that require just as much compassion and care as the one you currently have. DSPs (direct support professionals) help individuals with disabilities live fulfilled lives by involving them in community and helping them with daily tasks. Job coaches (that’s what I do) help people with disabilities find and keep employment. I’ve heard that hospitals often hire people part-time to sit in rooms for patients that need supervision. All three of these options usually only require a high school diploma (at least here in America).

Now this might not be the case everywhere, but in my situation my coworkers are pretty supportive of my Autism because they are used to being around others that have disabilities that require more support than I need.

I’m sorry to hear that you love your job but cannot work with your management. That’s a hard position to be in.