Opening up about autism at work

Very good even though I'm a professional in a completely different sector.  I liked the content 8 areas listed in Results - seeing it this way was highly useful, so thanks for posting the link !

from what I've learn't so far - it's better to be selective who you disclose to at work .  Even those who are autistic advocates in their working life seems to choose when/where to disclose so to me that's saying it's not always a good thing.

I was diagnosed early this year - so far my manager and HR know at work.  Colleagues and my Clients - I've not told them, yes this means masking but as I work from home 95+% of the time and jump on a couple of hours of online calls a week - that part is more manageable 

I'm going through process of reasonable adjustment hence need to tell mgr and hr, colleagues less affected by these reasonable adjustments so no need to inform or explain anything to them - TBH I think many wouldn't care so why add that to your mental load ?

Hi DormouseAtRest_25 this feels like an early Christmas present.

I've missed you and your early morning responses.

I'm sorry if this has embarrassed you, but I couldn't PM you.

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Hi Squid and welcome.

I am sorry you are having a tough time.

Work is such a big part of our lives and when we are in a role that isn't suited to our nature, it's heavy.

I love your positivity, how you see this current situation as a turning point for you to make a change for the better in your life. That's inspiring. 

I am recently diagnosed and I don't feel ready to tell work colleagues because their attitude whenever neurodiversity comes up in conversation is that we are all on the spectrum somewhere, which hurts me.

I don't feel suited to the role I'm in either. I find it challenging on lots of fronts. I have been having some online training sessions that have a different theme each week. After the boundaries and assertiveness session I tried to put it into practice at work but it didn't go well. I think it's because I'm the one who always keeps the peace, resolves arguments is always positive and happy, colleagues just aren't used to me advocating for myself.

The sad thing is I am the polar opposite of everything I appear to be. My therapist has told me start small..ie...just say something like "I'm not feeling great today". Even this feels hard, it feels like taking too much room up.

I'm pleased you are off work and hopefully you are able to turn things around.

Sending warm wishes your way.

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You could download this research paper pdf to see the experience shared by colleagues in both NHS and private healthcare settings; when they have navigated applying reasonable adjustments for their Autism in their workplaces:

https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0319082

Citation: Smith H, Shaw SCK, Doherty M, Ives

J (2025) Reasonable adjustments for autistic

clinicians: A qualitative study. PLoS ONE 20(3):

e0319082.

doi.org/.../journal.pone.0319082

Also if you have a good manager they might not know how to get it right so be patient and try to help them too 

I know what this feels like…. It’s like hi I’m not a real human - but I am…. And I’m good at my job but I would be better and it would ease my daily distress if this and this could happen instead and you could forgive me for this a little bit… it’s good to have a good relationship with your manager first and take one tiny step at a time… try not to go full in 

I am in the process of talking to my manager about the exact same thing. Chat GPT has been helpful but I am very wary of making myself vulnerable to discrimination at work. A friend helps me at work and knows I am autistic and that helps me. It’s the unpredictably of what will come of it all. 

I can't work out how to reply with quotes on my phone browser so sorry for my reply probably being a bit messy!

Firstly yeah if my work are not able to make the adjustments that I need in my current role (cos I'm totally aware that it might just be that when I'm being honest and not masking, the role just isn't for me) then I'm prepared to look at other roles and I do know which bits I enjoy and are suited to me.

It is absolutely autistic burnout, I didn't really know that was a thing until now (I follow a lot of autism/ND/MH insta accounts which have popped up in my feed now haha). Im signed off until January now which is a relief cos my nervous system is still in turmoil.

Your advice is super helpful. I think my route at the moment is continue therapy (I've been in general MH therapy for years but have got lucky recently in that my current therapist happens to specialise in autism. I am deffo only just at the stage of starting think about the practical stuff. Yours and others comments about making sure work stuff is in writing is something I'll take on board cos so far I've maybe naively been like "ah I dont need to do that".

Thank you so much for your help and for sharing your personal journey, it's so helpful to hear from people who have been through it themselves ️

Thank you all so much for your replies, having sought help on forums before I genuinely wasn't expecting so many lovely considerate and thoughtful replies so I'm working my way through them and replying as quickly as my brain lets me haha. Thank you all ️

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate it massively ️ and I totally appreciate you saying it may be received differently in different jobs, I work in healthcare (NHS) and am still worried about how it's dealt with even though my organisation should have a good understanding of it

Thank you so much for your reply, I'm so glad that your work have made adjustments for you. I've seen those headsets in supermarkets and they look like an absolute nightmare from my POV so I'm glad you don't have to deal with that! Thank you for your kind words and encouragement, it makes a big difference ️

Hello. I understand where you’re coming from. I also work in a role which isn’t suited to me too, I work in a supermarket. I used to mask all the time, and id frequently end up going off sick. It was deemed to be mental health issues. This was before I knew I was autistic.
When I finally got my diagnosis, I let work know and they have been very supportive. They’ve allowed me to use my loop earplugs, kept the days I work the same, and the big one for me is the exemption from wearing the headsets. You might have seen them, a lot of retail places are incorporating them now. For me though, they’re like torture devices. Intrusive, unnecessary and highly distressing to be wearing all day. I mean I use earplugs to block out noise, those things force it upon you! Were it not for me disclosing my autism, I would no doubt be forced to wear them. Despite being in a supermarket, I have been very lucky with the support.

Being able to wear the earplugs has definitely helped, cause I used to hide in the toilet frequently, block my ears and just hide my head inside my cardigan just to get some restbite from the noise. 

I also reduced my hours slightly too, as I’d recognised the hours I was working were contributing to the burnout.

Good luck in your assessment, and from my experience I would open up. Once you unmask, it’s a lot less weight to carry, despite some of the obstacles like other colleagues questioning things. That’ll be pass though, people get bored quick. 

Exactly 

Good morning from America,

So my experience was interesting in the fact that my current position is to help people with disabilities find employment. Because of this, I announced my diagnosis in my interview, just to make it clear that I can understand people with disabilities due to my own. My coworkers are pretty aware and accepting of my diagnosis (Ex. my boss once asked me to drive to the big metropolis nearby, but then stopped herself when she realized I can’t handle driving on big city streets). But again, this is an interesting case where my coworkers are used to being around people with disabilities and some of my coworkers even have disabilities of their own.

My last job at a factory I was way more careful. In my area (The Midwest) there’s a lot of misconceptions about Autism, so there’s a big chance that revealing your diagnosis will be met with being belittled or messed with. I only let a handful of coworkers I knew were safe know and one supervisor in case I ever needed help.

So I guess my advice is be careful. I’ve seen that it can be very helpful, but make sure you can trust the people you tell.

Thanks for your kind words.

MrT  You have been through a lot, my fingers are crossed for you for your tribunal! (More for the nerves, as it sounds like you've been dilgent with your evidence collection.) I am glad you are standing up against those who discriminate. Although I am sad for your experience, you are paving the way those that come after, by showing companies they can't push people out.

I will say this honestly as it is my own lived experience:

Be very very careful about disclosing unless you really are struggling with aspects of your work. 

Iain said:

Ask work to adapt to your needs. I have honestly only heard of one or two cases this was done well - most companies either ignore it or try to push you out as you are now seen as a bit of a liability.

 That has been my experience. I was so relieved when I was diagnosed as 'struggles' I had over my working life now had a cause. I naively thought 'the law is on my side' and asked for reasonable adjustments. What happened was I was refused and removed from my post and my career. Now I am in the very expensive process of an employment tribunal for disability discrimination.

Iain said:

At work, keep everything in writing as there is always a reasonable risk that they will discriminate against you, so if you can supply evidence of emails where they promised something and never delivered or similar then you can build up a decent claim

That is the best advice. I have absolutely everything including transcripts from online meetings (which was agreed beforehand to be recorded) I believe I have gathered so much evidence showing discrimination going back over 5 years.

The one good thing is that at tribunal they are not disputing my disabilities.

Going to tribunal has a drawback in that it will be in the public domain via govt website. I am conflicted over this as I am a very private person but also feel that whoa be tide them and there deserve every bit of bad publicity they might get.

However, apart from all the other negatives is the not knowing what the result will be. For an autist that is torture where I need a semblance of certainty to maintain my regulation.

I am 'lucky' if you can say that being in my fifties that I could cope with no job and just 'retire' if I get a payout. 

Squid said:

I work in a job/role that really isn't that compatible to my autistic traits

I would recommend starting a long term plan to change to a role that is more accommodating for your needs . Do you have anything in mind that will fit this role?

Squid said:

This period off work feels like the culmination of me trying to cope for years and years and finally getting to my limit.

Sounds like classic autistic burnout. There is an article about this here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/autistic-fatigue

I think that almost every autist who has had a job experiences this or worse (meltdown) directly because of their jobs and there are only a few things that I think can be done:

1 - Toughen up. This involves learning better coping skills but will always take a toll and burnout is likely to be a common occurrance.

2 - Ask work to adapt to your needs. I have honestly only heard of one or two cases this was done well - most companies either ignore it or try to push you out as you are now seen as a bit of a liability.

3 - Give it up and do something else. In my last role I chose to change from being a manager to a technician because it was so hard to work for my own boss who was clearly autistic and took great offence at any mention of it about himself. He was also someone who worked almost 24/7 and expected the same from his sub managers.

Luckily I took a specialist position and had a 50% pay bump as a result and I had way less contact with the rest of the team as I was responsible for a load of our staff out in the field and worked unsocial hours when they were working (weekends and late evenings when they were at events).

I digress - I would recommend a hybrid strategy for you - start to learn some coping skills by engaging with a psychotherapist who has experience in helping autists, learn more about your traits and how to manage them better (look for advice on this forum), start looking for a job better suited to your needs and learn techniques of meditation to help you get more out of any quiet time to recharge.

Of course this all takes a lot of effort so consider treating it as a project plan - break the tasks down and review it every week or two and track progress to get a sense of accomplishment. Give yourself time to breathe and look forward to the light at the end of the tunnel.

At work, keep everything in writing as there is always a reasonable risk that they will discriminate against you, so if you can supply evidence of emails where they promised something and never delivered or similar then you can build up a decent claim for a nice severance package at the end of it all to start your next role (assuming it is a different company of course...).

These are just my thoughts, but as some random off the internet I would expect you to take them with a pinch of salt and do your own research ;)

Good luck.

You will probably find that you don't need to change very much. What changes is your attitude. You can be calmer because you understand what is happening. You know why you're anxious, nervous, struggling, etc. And why you might need to step away for a few minutes if things get a bit much.

You can put less pressure on yourself to perform, which can mean you do just as much once you get used to it but it feels easier.

You can also feel more comfortable allowing yourself time to relax in the evenings or whenever. It's not laziness.

This means others will still see the 'you' they now, just a slightly calmer less stressed version. You may feel different but not look as different as you think.